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Certain cancers of the male reproductive system are very prevalent among Catholic priests and religious who do not masturbate. Just as breast cancers are statistically higher among nuns.

So now that they've finished with Big Tobacco, and after they're done going after Big Food, who do you think the lawyers will attack next? Big Nunnery?

The nuns and priests are only killing themselves. So I don't see any need for government intervention.

Hmm ... there's a principle there. I wonder how it applies to gay sex?

OH I KNOW! The government shouldn't make criminalize consensual gay sex between adults in the privacy of their own home, no matter how unhealthy people think it is.

On the other hand, if I'm wrong about that, the government should teach the importance of masturbation for male reproductive health (ie prostrate cancer) and run commercials encouraging young boys and young men to masturbate at LEAST five times a week, since studies indicate that's the frequency at which the risk of prostrate cancer diminishes considerably. I suppose for perfect symmetry one might consider making it a crime for parents, religious leaders or anyone else to tell young boys or young men differently, but I'm not sure if people are ready to accept full-blown symmetry arguments.