A C-5B is the only thing that can get his fat ass off the ground, and there is no way a C-5B could land on a carrier!
Now hold on just a minute there - all you people fatmouthing the Chappaquiddick Scuba Driver, as if he never served in the armed services. Do you think it was just a coincidence that he got out of his Oldsmobile in fifteen feet of water in Hillary, I mean Dyke Creek? He had plenty of training in escaping from submerged Oldsmobiles, I'm here to tell you. See, when a carrier comes out of heavy shop maintenance, before it deploys, they have to test the catapults. You guessed it, a full size Oldsmobile with the Chappaquidick Scuba Driver in the left seat grossed out [double entendre] at about the same weight as an A-4 Skyhawk with internal fuel and no underwing stores. So, for several years before the unfortunate incident at the Hilary Bridge, the Scuba Driver had been serving his country as dead weight for catapult tests on many carriers. But the man is so humble, so selfless and so patriotic that he has never mentioned these years of [somewhat hazardous] service to the US Navy. Even during the Roger Mudddd interview, when the mere mention of his heroic deeds would have obliterated Mudd's nasty insinuations concerning what may or may not have occurred at Hilary Bridge, the Senator from Chappaquiddick remained silent. He assuaged his pain with long hot showers in the wee hours of the morning with his very close friends in the Massachussetts delegation, Barnadine F. and Geraldine S. [BTW, is Geraldine still alive?]