New NFL Team Slogans! (my title)

ESPN Online ^ | 7/31/03 | Eric Immerman

[TheBigB]

When NFL marketing personnel gather during training camp to plan for the upcoming season, one of their most important tasks is to come up with a catchy team slogan that excites the fans, spurs ticket sales, and accurately represents the direction the team is heading.

As luck would have it, Page 2 was leaked the official 2003 marketing slogans for all 32 NFL teams.

Arizona Cardinals: "At Least It Will Be A Dry 3-13."

Atlanta Falcons: "Helping Displaced Northerners Avoid Truck-Related Sports Since 1966."

Baltimore Ravens: "Are You Ready For Some Futbol-Like Scores?"

Buffalo Bills: "Knock, Knock? Who's There? Drew Bledsoe. Drew Bledsoe Who? Drew Bledsoe Much From A Hit In The Pocket That He Passed Out, So, Like, The Least You Could Do Is Buy A Four Game Ticket Plan."

Carolina Panthers: "Zero To 60 Points In 12 Games Flat!"

Chicago Bears: "Keep Telling Yourself Last Season Was Just A Fluke -- Just Like You Told Yourself You'd Travel For A Year And Then Go To College."

Cincinnati Bengals: "Only 367,200 Minutes 'Till We Make Our Selection."

Cleveland Browns: "You Don't Live In Cincinnati, You Live In Cleveland ... So Let The Potentially Crippling Projectile Objects Fly!"

Dallas Cowboys: "As Seen Last Year On The Popular HBO Series, Oz."

Denver Broncos: "Hey Look, We've Got Plummer's Butt."

Detroit Lions: "New Coach. New Beginnings. New Horizons Of Unfulfillment And Dissatisfaction."

Green Bay Packers: "Millions Of Animals Were Harmed In The Making Of This Team Nickname."

Houston Texans: "We Still Have That New Carr Smell."

Indianapolis Colts: "Remember: You Can't Spell Indianapolis Without 'No D.'"

Jacksonville Jaguars: "A Refreshing Break From Watching The Underarm Wattles Of Elderly Floridians Flail About As They Wave Their Bingo Cards."

Kansas City Chiefs: "Come See A Priest Run Wild --Without All The Catholic Guilt."

Miami Dolphins: "Seau! Seau! Seau! No, Seriously, 'Say Ow,' Because Our Inflated Ticket Prices Are Painful."

Minnesota Vikings: "Proud Home Of Several Defensive Players Good Enough To Play On Saturdays."

New England Patriots: "75 Rushing Yards Allowed The First Minute, 25 Rushing Yards Allowed Each Additional Minute."

New Orleans Saints: "Tired Of Watching Beautiful Coeds Take It All Off On Bourbon Street? Well, Check Out The Superdome's 'Shirtless Breasty Men Gone Wide,' Featuring Uninhibited, Bosomy Males With Perilously High Caloric Intake Baring It All!"

New York Giants: "Snap. Tackle. Flop!"

New York Jets: "What Happens In The Meadowlands, Stays In The Meadowlands ... Um, Right Up Until Dan Snyder's Helicopter Picks It Up And Transports It Back To Redskins Park."

Oakland Raiders: "Our Veterans Have Been Playing Since The Beatles Arrived On The Scene...Not The Band, The Life Form!"

Philadelphia Eagles: "Kids Under 12 Arraigned Free!"

Pittsburgh Steelers: "Ask Us About Our New Kordelless Service: Guaranteed To Result In Better Reception."

San Diego Chargers: "This Year's Theme Is Marty-Gras...And Our Defense Is Giving Up Big Pass Plays For Lent."

San Francisco 49ers: "Straight Guys (In Glorified Capri Pants) For The Queer Eye."

St. Louis Rams: "We Added Jason Sehorn To Spruce Up Our Defense-Which Is Kind Of Like Adding A Rear Spoiler To Spruce Up Your Geo."

Seattle Seahawks: "We're Okeafor Now, Thanks."

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: "Jon Gruden's Ego, Official Site of Super Bowl XXXVIII."

Tennessee Titans: "The Best Thing To Happen To Tennessee Since Arrested Development."

Washington Redskins: "J-E-T-S--Jets, Jets, Jets!"

[rocky88]

"Miami Dolphins: Come see our patented late season swoon! (US Pat.# 7,777,777)

Watch out for the Bills this year!"

Note to Dolphins: This time, bring your gloves and long sleeve jerseys! We hated to see you shiver when the lake effect kicked in last year!!!

[al_c]

I'll never forget the film of Earl Campbell going full speed and hitting a Ram right in the chest with his helmet!

I remember him doing that to a number of defensive backs. A hit on Cliff Harris of the Cowboys is a memorable one. Harris landed flat on his back and Campbell didn't even flinch.

[rockfish59]

What Campbell did with that pulverized meat!

=^)

[rockfish59]

I remember some of the old 49er digs;

When OJ was on the team the slogan was 'Roaring Back', and we used to say 'Roaring Backwards'

With 2 seasons at 2-14 we also called them the 'Fumble Niners' & 'Forty Whiners'

Despite the crummy record they were still fun to watch.
Hating the Rams was almost the same as hating the commies!
And then Ray Wersching & Fred Dean came to town. =^)

[al_c]

MMM!!! That's some good stuff. Try it if you ever get a chance.

Earl Campbell is one of the nicest folks you'll ever meet, too. Very humble.

[Richard Kimball]

Miami Dolphins: Are you ready for some FOOTBALL? Well, the Canes and the Bucs should be pretty good again this year.

[FourPeas]

Detroit

Losing
Is
Our
Normal
State