[SquirrelKing]

News Item - Dick Gephardt responded to President Luthor today by saying that he has merely expressing "machismo" and had no real reason to invade Quraq. Furthermore he poked fun at the President's baldness and offered the use of his eyebrow pencil supply. He will debate later today with Democratic hopeful Bob Graham on whether Quraq even exists at all and why they are slightly aroused by male superheroes in tight body suits.

[Modernman]

News Item - Dick Gephardt responded to President Luthor today by saying that he has merely expressing "machismo" and had no real reason to invade Quraq. Furthermore he poked fun at the President's baldness and offered the use of his eyebrow pencil supply

In response, President Luthor beat Gephardt to death with an ashtray and had his body dumped in a cornfield outside of Metropolis. Bill O'Reilly will discuss tonight why the President's actions, though critisized by some, show the type of strong leadership required in America today. We now turn to Fox News correspondent Clark Kent....