Humor ar Shrillary's expense

e-mails | July 30, 2003 | Unkown

[Jimmy Valentine's brother]

Hillary Clinton was out jogging one morning along the parkway when she tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to her, 3 kids who were fishing pulled her out of the water.
She was so grateful she offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid says, "I want to go to Disney land." Hillary says, "No problem, I'll take you there on my special senator's airplane."
The second kid says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's."
Hillary says, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!!"
The third kid says, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!"
Hillary is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you're handicapped."
The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your a$$ from drowning."

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the cow was killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily.
"What happened?" asked Hillary.
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
The driver replied: "I'm Hillary Clinton's driver, and I just killed the cow."

[Jimmy Valentine's brother]

Wanted to share the luv

[RedBloodedAmerican]

I know the Secret Service are supposed to do their jobs, but I can't help but think if this happened, they would tell the kids to leave, look at each other, shrug and walk away.

[Jimmy Valentine's brother]

Need to check posting 3 times ar at.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

This is not an Idi is dead thread, but the next best thing.

[monocle]

Hillary doesn't tip waitresses so do you think she would show graditude to someone rescuing her?

[Jimmy Valentine's brother]

They made a movie, Guarding Tess, about the secret service and Shrillary. It starred Shirley MacLaine and Nicolas Cage.

[headsonpikes]

Share the luv bump.

[Gorzaloon]

I know the Secret Service are supposed to do their jobs, but I can't help but think if this happened, they would tell the kids to leave, look at each other, shrug and walk away.

No,when she swore at them and used them as baggage handlers and domestic servants, they did nothing.

Amazing...I wonder where the SS gets their employees? Bet they had a high turnover rate, as well as ulcers, insomnia, and self-loathing, plus a lifetime of self-kicking.

[amadeus]

WRRROOONNGGGGG! In Guarding Tess, the antagonist had a kind heart hiding behind a bitchy attitude. Hillary is a bitch with no heart, hiding a big behind. heehee

[raisincane]

Thank you. You just made my morning!

[Jimmy Valentine's brother]

do you think she would show graditude to someone rescuing her?

You are obviously a Shrillary hater.
I bet you have a Shrillary anecdote that you can share.;>)

[Izzy Dunne]

Hillary Clinton was out jogging one morning

You lost me right there, partner.

[iceskater]

thanks for the laughs!

[Quix]

GREAT!

Now if we could get enough of these together for a booklet.

But hey, we COULD put them on FREEPCARDS if people would bother! Am happy to format them for such if enough are interested.

[Fiddlstix]

ROFLMAO!
BUMP

[mountaineer]

Hey, what's up with this (from The Hill):

Protesters turn up volume on Sen. Clinton’s book tour

The blaring music that’s now a standard feature at book signings by Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) is not part of a new summer marketing campaign. It’s an “audio protest” by Free Republic, a conservative group, whose members have been showing up with their boom boxes wherever Clinton appears.

“We’re not hassling her,” said Kris Tinn, [????] co-leader of the group’s Washington chapter. “It’s just our way of correcting her version of history.”

Free Republic has put together what it calls the “2003 Hilla-Palooza” tape for local chapters to play outside bookstores, shopping malls or anywhere else Clinton is signing copies of Living History, her bestselling White House memoir. The latest play dates were last weekend at Clinton appearances in Little Rock and Blytheville, Ark., where people waiting in line got an earful of rock and country classics, including “Evil Woman” by the Electric Light Orchestra, Tammy Wynette’s “Stand by Your Man” and “The Bitch is Back” by Elton John.

Despite the demand, the 12-song tapes are not for sale. “That would be illegal,” said Tinn.

[Quix]

MORE LIKELY

. . . she'd gritch that they didn't run faster and CATCH HER . . .

Even Atlas would have SHRUGGED . . .

and declined!

[Quix]

Well described!

[Jay D. Dyson]

Nice selection of tunes. Might I suggest an addition? The song "Public Servant" by Todd Rundgren really fits the bill.

Lyrics can be found here.

-Jay

[Quix]

You reminded me of my wife--a very thin gal. But she had somewhat unique buns.

Her nursing school roommates would often ask their friends into their room and ask my to be wife to 'jump and show them.'

So, she'd jump up and down and her buns would make clapping sounds against her legs.

I think Shrillery's buns would quickly make her very unsteady on her feet were she to jog or jump.