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After one of his famous USO performances a two star general approached Bob Hope and asked him if he could help with a critical negotiation.

"The enemy has a tank convoy of ours pinned down," the General explained. "We have them surrounded, but they could destroy our convoy before we could finish them off. We are trying to negotiate, but it is a stand off. The enemy commanding officer has demanded that you be the negotiator."

"I don't know what to say," stammered the famous entertainer. "I have no experience with negotiations. Why are they asking for me?"

"I don't know," replied the General, "but they were very insistent."

So the General escorts Bob Hope to the battlefield and they come to a canyon area where the tanks are trapped. Bob Hope approaches the enemy under a flag of truce, and later comes back to report to the General.

"They say they will surrender under only one condition," the entertainer explained, "they want to see some USO showgirls and they want them to perform topless."

The General was stunned. Bob Hope assured him that he could convince the USO girls to do it for the lives of the trapped soldiers and, sure enough, a few minutes later, he was leading a group of singers and dancers towards enemy lines. After a rousing, jiggly performance, the enemy commander surrendered.

The General approached his adversary and asked about the strange demand.

"I would think it would be obvious," the commander explained. "My men have been fighting a long time and they miss the female charms."

"But why Bob Hope?" asked the General. "We could have worked something out without bringing him into the situation."

"Ah, no." said the commander. "The only one who could ever make 'Tanks for the Mammaries' work is Bob Hope."

RIP