At the airport - 'I'm gonna blow up this plane! Allahu Akbar!'
At home - 'If you even think of leaving me, I'll kill you!'
At work - 'This is the last time you pass me over for promotion. I'll burn this office to the ground!'
At the police station - 'So, officer, how's your family?'
See, saying stuff like this is funny, because it makes you think. They're just words, right? Words don't hurt anybody.
(EDITORS NOTE: For the humor impaired, the opinions expressed above are sarcastic in their entirety. Do NOT use any of these lines, even in a 'joking' manner.)