Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! -- By DENNIS MILLER

The Wall Street Journal ^ | Wednesday, July 16, 2003 | DENNIS MILLER

[Just another Joe]

I hate to admit it but I got the wrong answer on the number of amendments.
I didn't think to count the bill of rights. I was thinking the number of amendments after the bill of rights.

[Xenalyte]

ItsBacon, meet my best friend Bacon Man. Bacon, meet IB.

[Beck_isright]

I hate to say it, but Springer would be a great Senator. It would prove just how messed up our system really is. Once and for all.

[Just another Joe]

ItsBacon, meet my best friend Bacon Man. Bacon, meet IB.

You like bacon?
Good. I'm impressed with a woman that starts the meal right.

[Xenalyte]

I like bacon just fine. Bacon Man really is my best friend (and my insurance agent).

[2Hot4You]

Best Line BY FAR:

Now that's not to say I don't periodically find the "The Jerry Springer Show" intellectually stimulating. Indeed, how many times have I been walking through the parking lot of a laundromat and seen two obese women in halter tops slap fighting and thought, "Wow . . . I wonder what the back story is on that?"

[rdb3]

No, Ohio. No. Don't make me come back home prematurely!

[Just another Joe]

Bacon Man really is my best friend (and my insurance agent).

Why do I get the feeling that he likes bacon too? ;^)

[SwinneySwitch]

"Think about what he did when the police told him if there was actual fighting on his show they would arrest people for assault and battery."

What did he do?

"He has some political experience and would probably do the job as well as a lot of politicians that are already there."

Better than some (D)s, the problem is Ohio has two (R) senators.

[Just another Joe]

What did he do?

He made sure that any physical contact between guests was censored out.
He didn't make them stop attacking each other and just sit in their chairs, he found a way around it.

Better than some (D)s, the problem is Ohio has two (R) senators.

Probably better than some (R)inos.
I'll give you that if he runs on the Dim ticket I wouldn't vote for him but, in some states, if he ran on the Repub ticket, I would vote for him before some of the incumbents.

[sweetliberty]

"The Pied Piper of Bottom Feeders"

I'd say that that alone qualifies him on the RAT side.

[sweetliberty]

I've been saying that voters should have to pass an IQ test for years. Of course, even something so simple as Dennis Miller recommends here would have the NAACP going ballistic saying that it was an attempt to keep poor black people from voting., of course never even noticing that they are yet again suggesting that black folks are ignorant. I'm of the opinion that anybody so ignorant that they can't answer a few basic questions has no business making decisions on behalf of the rest of us, and I don't care what color they are. Maybe a person's vote would be worth something to them if they had to put something into it. Of course, if idiots were to lose the vote, the RAT party would collapse and they know it, so I think it is highly unlikely that we'll ever see such a thing.

[sweetliberty]

"she is from Arkansas after all"

Ummmm....no, actually she's from Illinois.

[Just another Joe]

100% here. I shudder to think what recent HS grads might get.

My sophmore in high school daughter got 8 out of 11.

[TroutStalker]

Sorry, I didn't mean to paint with such a broad brush. Sometimes I may make unfair statements, without condidering all possibilities. Congratulations in using your time wisely as a student. You will do well in life.

[SwinneySwitch]

I could give you partial credit, hell, FULL credit!- if I were a liberal professor! But your answer is WRONG!:^}
You still get an A though, if that's the only one you missed.

[Studebaker Hawk]

I got them all correct!

11 out of 11.

[Just another Joe]

But your answer is WRONG!

I know. (hanging head in shame) ;^)

[TroutStalker]

See my reply #55. One thing I miss about having a kid in school is helping with the homework and brushing up on things I haven't used in decades.

Now there is no way I can understand what my son is doing: he worked on a project that just was awarded one of R&D magazine's top 100 worldwide winners for 2003. Something about thin layer deposition on chips. I think french onion.

[Carolinamom]

Get over here! Dennis Miller on Jerry Springer.