Judge Orders God To Break Up Into Smaller Deities

The Onion ^ | January 30, 2002

[dpwiener]

Oh sure. I try to start a little 'water to wine' business in my spare time, and then next thing you know, the monopolistic God comes into my territory and starts giving it away for free until I go out of business.

Yeah, yeah, I know, and then once you're out of business God jacks up the price to sky high levels because all the competition has evaporated.

I've heard that wine before.

[DannyTN]

Today Hillary announced that she done more for the breakup of God than any other legislator. She explained that she had personally comforted many people who had been condemned by God. Through the years making hundreds of phone calls and personal visits to places destoyed by God.

Hillary said, "I'm now convinced God is not only trying to undo the Clinton administration, He's trying to undo all the work through the centuries of liberal minded people who have worked hard to shape this planet into the kind of place it is today."

[Only1choice____Freedom]

Hillary said, "I'm now convinced God is not only trying to undo the Clinton administration, He's trying to undo all the work through the centuries of liberal minded people who have worked hard to shape this planet into the kind of place it is today."

We can only hope and pray that he's succesful!

[Only1choice____Freedom]

You are scarry good in predicting the Hilster's personality.

Is there something we should know?

[DannyTN]

You are scarry good in predicting the Hilster's personality.

I cheat. I used quotes from the past. Someone had reminded me recently about her Jew B* comment. And I even had to go looking for a quote to find the last one about "undo the Clinton administration".

[DannyTN]

Today Hillary was asked if it was true that she had formed a committee of spiritual leaders, psychics, liberals, Ozark hill women and ghost writers in the wake of the pending breakup of God. Hillary said, that it was an merely an informal gathering of friends. When asked if she was contemplating any more book deals, Hillary replied, "I am". The reporter asked if her reply meant her project was related to the monotheopoly ruling. Hillary replied, "that depends on what the meaning of 'am' am".

The reporter then asked Hillary to clarify what she meant by that. Hillary flew into a rage and accused the reporter of being part of a vast rightwing religious consipiracy who was intolerant and bigoted against dieties from New York state.

Later that afternoon, after Hillary called the reporter's firm to complain, the reporter announced that he had been fired from his duties.