Well, I am definitely dying, but happily, I don't care.
I am going to the Carribean in the next few years, to live. Saving money like a bandit. You can live like a king for a few 10's of thousands for nearly the rest of your life. I am outta here. Sun and sand. Xcrew everything.
Especially xcrew marriage.
We're all dying. I just would have hated to go earlier than I should have through my own juvenilism and stupidity.