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I'm with you. There are precisely four -- count 'em, four -- Mexican restaurants at which I will eat in my hometown. One is a regional chain that is still owned and operated by the family of the man who started it in 1918. One is a two-city (Austin & Dallas) operation that is owned and operated by the son of the man who founded it in 1948. The third is a city-only outfit with two locations that is owned and operated by the family that started it in the 1990s. (They feature seafood, also live mariachis on Fridays). Finally, there's Casa Jose, which is still in the same renovated 1940s bungalow that it inhabited when Sr. José himself opened it in the 1950s.

Other than these four places (plus a tortilleria and a place in Dallas I know, both family-owned) I do not patronize Mexican restaurants. Why? Because at these places, my wife and I recognize and are recognized by the staff; because the food is cooked to order by adult human beings who know what Mexican food is supposed to taste like; because my iced tea glass or beer bottle is never empty; and because all are run by families whose livelihoods depend on quality food, service, and reasonable prices.

I only eat chain-restaurant food when no other choice is available and I HAVE to eat. Chain places are geared towards pure profit; there is no love of food for food's sake at the Olive Garden, only the desire to get you in, get your money, and get you out ASAP. As a result, one gets prepackaged, microwaved food-service products instead of food, dished up by slack-jawed teenage amateurs who don't give a hoot in hell about you, your order, or anything except their next Lewinsky session in the walk-in.

I'm surprised our emergency rooms aren't crawling with gagging food-poisoning victims, considering the kind of homogenized slop freeway restaurants serve.