Ridiculous suit is a waste of time

The Morning Call ^ | 6/27/03 | Editorial staff

[friendly]

Hunting Rules for Lawyers

This years Lawyer Season and Bag Limit regulations:

1. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free scotch" for the purpose of trapping lawyers.

2. It shall be unlawful to hunt lawyers within 50 yards of Micro$oft buildings.
It shall be unlawful to hunt lawyers within 100 yards of BMW, SAAB or Mercedes dealerships.
It also shall be unlawful to hunt lawyers within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, ambulances or hospitals.

3. It shall be unlawful to use $100 bills, prostitutes, software license agreements or vehicle accidents to attract lawyers.

4. It shall be unlawful to chase, herd or harvest lawyers from a snow mobile, helicopter or aircraft.

5. Killing lawyers with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead lawyer to roadside and proceed to the nearest car wash.

6. Stuffed or mounted lawyers must have a state health department inspection sticker.

7. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, female legale cleark, Micro$oft employee, accident victim, bookie or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting lawyers.

8. Taking lawyers with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.

9. Varios bag limits are set for lawyers including:
Brown-nosed judge kissers...............2
Back-stabbing divorce litigators........4
Hairy-chinned civil libertarians........7
Two-faced tort chaser...................2
Micro$oft legal department member.......9
Yellow bellied sidewinders..............2

10.Note that honest lawyers are extinct.

[putupon]

Lawyers are all the same, federal, state, or private. Sue, sue, and sue some more over the most trivial of issues

Also Monday, the attorneys general of New Jersey and Pennsylvania endorsed the lawsuit by the five Big East football schools.

[ErnBatavia]

Theory, hell. Its an axiom.

Love it...! I was just trying to avoid getting flamed by calling that 'trade' in such terminology.

Our little society doesn't seem to fathom beyond what's in it's face. They blame who they see - doctors, for example - for the high prices and endless testing....Duh.

[freedumb2003]

LOL.

[friendly]

Amazing about the Big East football schools nonsense.

[friendly]

True story about the difference between doctors and (the vast majority ) of lawyers:

In California, more than 600 lawyer hopefuls were taking the State Bar exams in the Pasadena Convention Center when a 50 year old man taking the test suffered a heart attack. Only two of the 600 test takers, John Leslie and Eunice Morgan, stopped to help the man. They administered CPR until paramedics arrived, then resumed taking the exam.

Citing policy, the test supervisor refused to allow the two additional time to make up for the 40 minutes they spent helping the victim. Jerome Braun, the State Bar's senior executive for admissions, backed the decision stating, "If these two want to be lawyers, they should learn a lesson about priorities."

[GMMAC]

Aside from agreeing with other posters that the suit is totally ridiculous, this is one of the most ungrammatical, poorly written articles I've ever read!
One wonders if this is the result of a New York Times style "affirmative action" hiring policy or simply one which favors the near illiterate?

[freedumb2003]

>>"If these two want to be lawyers, they should learn a lesson about priorities."<<

Res ipsa loquitur.

[DeFault User]

Two-faced tort chaser...................2

I must object, your honor. A two-faced tort chaser, such as John Edwards, should be at least a 9. Having been deposed by one of these money grubbing villians, I believe a high bounty is justified. Although they do serve some useful purpose in providing comic relief to the judicial system, they are nonetheless dangerous given the stupidity of most juries. [jury--a chosen group of citizens whose collective IQ's must not exceed the sum of their shoe sizes.]

[friendly]

If the legal profession was about justice and not simply an agency of evil, the two young lawyers would have immediately been appointed Judges and the 598 other shyters immediately disbarred.

[friendly]

Funny and correct.

[microgood]

They should put a 110% tax on all lawyers income over 100K. Problem solved.

[microgood]

more than 600 lawyer hopefuls were taking the State Bar exams in the Pasadena Convention Center

Sounds like a job for a JDAM.

[y2k_free_radical]

Also expect OB-GYNS to stop doing obstetrics,radiologists to stop reading mammograms,and pathologists to stop reading pap smears

[y2k_free_radical]

AMEN-I render a bunch of free care to illegals

[y2k_free_radical]

You must be a physician

[y2k_free_radical]

U GOTTA B KIDDIN

[friendly]

They should put a 110% tax on all lawyers income over 100K. Problem solved.

Lawyers commonly structure their often huge payouts so that they are never reported. Believe it or not, there are commonly no 1099's.

Massive income under-reporting is extremely common by shysters. Taxes, like the law itself, are for the little people and peons.

[friendly]

more than 600 lawyer hopefuls were taking the State Bar exams in the Pasadena Convention Center Sounds like a job for a JDAM.

Roach exterminators and/or septic tank drainers would probably be as effective for this documented group of fecal mass vermin.

What an obvious group of sub-humans, with the California Bar Association officials being even more vile.

[friendly]

Also expect OB-GYNS to stop doing obstetrics,radiologists to stop reading mammograms,and pathologists to stop reading pap smears

Right you are!

Mammograms are six month wait in many areas. Women in Las Vegas must now drive 100 miles to St. George, Utah to find an obstetrician.

Whole sections of Third World Mississippi have lost all their obstetricians and emergency rooms (but Mississippi now has the richest lawyers).