[Dubya]

The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Buford will be setting the pace on our morning run.'
With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Buford was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Buford will be driving a truck."

[Dubya]

New soldiers walking along the street on pass noticed a car stuck in a mud-filled ditch. A dull sergeant, identifiable by his 'Smokey the Bear' hat, was attempting to free the vehicle by himself.
"Say, isn't that our drill instructor!" asked one of the group.
"Hey, it is," remarked another. "Think we should give him a hand."
"Naw," replied the first trainee. "If he really wants his car out of the ditch, he'll order it out."