[Dubya]

MARINE BOOT JOKE
It was a hand-to-hand fighting exercise. "Have I done him any damage?" the recruit asked his instructor,
"No, but keep on swinging your rifle. The draft may give him a cold."

[Dubya]

The instructor in a basic-training course asked a recruit what he would do if he saw a figure crawling toward his post while on assigned guard duty.
"Why, I'd help the Officer to his quarters." said the recruit.
Drill Sergeant to recruit: "Wipe that opinion off your face !"

[Dubya]

The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broke into a store. At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approached the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!). The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting. The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".