[TexasCowboy]

"BTW, where can I get me one a'them "Handmaidens of Satan?" My most recent girlfriend has developed a slow leak."

I buy my "Handmaidens of Satan" from "DollsRUs".
The new improved model needs no lubrication, and the air pressure adjusts itself according to the activity in progress.
If you get tired of her red mouth being in that perpetual "O" shape, you can close it (which was something I was never able to do with a wife!).
You can get a variety of colors, which doesn't matter in the dark unless you get the flourescent green.
Although they are almost puncture proof, it's inevitable that sooner or later strenuous activity will produce small leaks, especially if you like yours a little on the fat side.
Use only high quality patches and wait the full twenty-four hours before enjoying her again (I know, it's tough, but that's the price you have to pay for poking holes in her!).

[Xenalyte]

You can get a variety of colors, which doesn't matter in the dark unless you get the flourescent green.

That would probably be cool, in a weird Star Trek sort of way.

[humblegunner]

Use only high quality patches

That's my old lady yer talking about there, pard.