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To: streetpreacher
I could see why you or others find a problem with that statement. The way I see it is that this guy wants to wait for marriage and yet he wants to "date" anyone until the right person comes along. He should go all out and pursue a courtship model which is more in line with his convictions rather than the "dating" model which is more attuned to the modern casual relationship, otherwise he is sending these ladies mixed messages.

How would you go about the courtship model? I'm just curious and I think it would be interesting to spark some discussion and learn.
570 posted on 05/22/2005 4:52:36 PM PDT by Nowhere Man (Lutheran, Conservative, Neo-Victorian/Edwardian, Michael Savage in '08! - DeCAFTA-nate CAFTA!)
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To: Nowhere Man

Courtship model in the deeply evangelical Christian world = same as dating, except there's no kissing and you're never alone together... even throughout the engagement period. Two of my cousins used this model & had their first kiss at the wedding altar.


574 posted on 05/22/2005 5:08:47 PM PDT by Nataku X (I want to be a great masochist; how else am I supposed to learn how to be a great sadist?)
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To: Nowhere Man
I don't pretend to be an expert on relationships. I was blessed that the Lord led me to my lovely, godly wife. We were both attending the same church and got to know each other through an at-home Bible study. We became best friends over a period of two years and at the time I was not romantically interested in her or any other woman. As a recent convert, I was more passionate about my relationship with the Lord than any person.

God spoke to each of us separately about His plan for us and the romantic aspect of our love grew out of that deep friendship. We never officially dated but once we "knew" that we were meant to be together, we set a date and that was that.

There is a book that explores the courtship model in-depth though I haven't read it myself.  It is called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye".

The bottom line (and many believers probably won't like this answer) is that a Christian should be totally consumed with pursuing the Lord and not a marriage partner.  When one is walking in that kind of devotion and submission to the Lord, God will or will not bring whomever He chooses or chooses not to.  The question is: Do we really trust Him and His plan for our lives or are we going to try to create our own happiness?  I would choose to be in God's perfect will no matter the cost even if it meant living out my days as a single missionary in Calcutta rather than married to the most beautiful woman in the world.  If that is not our sole purpose in life, then the desire for a spouse (or even a child) is just a form of idolatry.

1 Cor 7:1-2
7:1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.

1 Cor 7:6-9
6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

1 Cor 7:24-40
25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29 What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs-how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin-this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.

39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is-and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
(from New International Version)


 

576 posted on 05/22/2005 5:17:47 PM PDT by streetpreacher (God DOES exist; He's just not into you!)
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To: Nowhere Man
Oh boy, ANOTHER one of these threads, where "anything I say, can and WILL be used against me," by fellow FReepers!LOL!!

SO, all I will say, is that I too admire this man, although I do NOT really consider him "celibate" he may have "renewed" his commitment to purity, but he has NOT evidently been that way, since birth.

And, BTW-- He should had been UP FRONT about his vow of purity, with that woman he dated for 6 months, and then dumped , because he did not feel he could "make a commitment" to her. I do feel, he most likely hurt her, by his "wasting her time".

As for me, I had an AWESOME weekend, Nowhere, starting Friday at the Dayton Hamfest, and then Saturday, at the Estes auction, and then, today, at Hamfest clean-up. Acquired computer hardware, tube audio items, SS amps, Kenwood receiver, Kenwood audio scope,(in original box, WORKS!!) tubes, CRT tester, tube tester,Round BW RCA tv,5" ac/dc color tv,'67 model RCA radio,3 riders manuals, Box of digital amp boards, sub amp, and other electronic items.
598 posted on 05/23/2005 1:37:47 AM PDT by Rca2000 (America, oh America, I MISS YOU!!!!!)
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