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To: hellinahandcart
You're correct that she was willing to accept abstinence if he would make a committment. I got that wrong. However, I'd say they had different expectations, not that he was messing with her mind. After six months, he obviously didn't know if she was The One. Apparently, she did. That's not being dishonorable to her. From the article it sounds like he plans/hopes to marry. Let's face it being celebate he has a pretty good incentive to find the woman he wants to marry.

I just don't see how the simple sentences of:

"I dated a very intelligent woman, an attorney, who was OK with celibacy," Washington said. "But after six months, she wanted me to make a commitment. She felt if she knew we were going to marry then she could abstain. I couldn't make that promise."

can be construed to mean that he was messing with her mind. I just don't see it.

141 posted on 06/15/2003 1:15:33 PM PDT by FourPeas
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To: FourPeas
I just don't see how the simple sentences of: "I dated a very intelligent woman, an attorney, who was OK with celibacy," Washington said. "But after six months, she wanted me to make a commitment. She felt if she knew we were going to marry then she could abstain. I couldn't make that promise." can be construed to mean that he was messing with her mind. I just don't see it.

Okay, here's how---

1. Let's assume she was not a virgin or celibate prior to meeting Mr. Washington. (It's not much of a stretch, since he says she was "okay" with celibacy, not "absolutely devoted to celibacy". And to be fair to him he is not requiring a virgin, since he wasn't one himself)

2. Girl becomes acquainted with Mr. Washington.

3. Girl and Mr. Washington begin to date, and she finds out he plans to abstain until marriage. In other words, he's going to save himself now for someone very special, his future wife.

4.Girl obviously finds this attitude an attractive quality, since she continues to date him.

5. Mr. Washington, who is on record as "saving himself for that special someone" continues to ask Girl out over and over and over. Since they are not having SEX, it's likely they are having extremely good conversations to compensate (and presumably getting to know each other fairly well).

6. After this man who is "saving himself for someone special" keeps asking her out again and again and again, Girl begins to believe and hope she *is* the "SPECIAL SOMEONE"--

7. Begins to believe he's *her* "special someone",too-- after all, he must be interested in her for her self, not because of sex, like all the other men---

8. Begins to really look forward to consummating their relationship in marriage one day.

9. Begins to wonder why he isn't saying anything about the future, after all that attention.

10. Asks where their relationship is headed, and finds out he's JUST FINE with things the way they are. In other words, she's not so special after all.

Result---messed-up head.

(come on, it's kind of a logical progression.)

167 posted on 06/15/2003 1:41:22 PM PDT by hellinahandcart
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