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He's celibate until marriage, and dates won't tolerate it
Chicago Sun-Times ^
| June 15, 2003
| Mary Mitchell
Posted on 06/15/2003 10:39:14 AM PDT by Mister Magoo
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To: Mister Magoo
Hey, I'm celibate 'till marriage and I'll be 37 next month. I'm proud of this guy.
To: BlazingArizona
What if you do marry, and are sexually compatible... later something terrible happens, and one of you loses the ability to have sexual intercourse. Is this reason enough to leave the marriage? Is sex a large part of marriage, or a meaningful part?
To: freedumb2003
The fact that you are sleeping with every single person your partner sver slept with and that geometric progression continues with the next "steady" relationship is also of no meaning). Well I don't want to upset you, for pete's sake. I have told my kids the exact sentence you wrote above. I don't consider myself immoral for wanting a steady relationship that includes sex. I have some personal reasons for not wanting to remarry. At least not this year. I don't run around picking up guys. In fact the last person I was with was my now ex-husband. That was several years ago. The decay in our society doesn't have a thing to do with adults acting responsibly and with discretion. Btw, I'm not a spring chicken.
163
posted on
06/15/2003 1:36:57 PM PDT
by
TheSpottedOwl
(America...love it or leave it. Canada is due north-Mexico is directly south...start walking.)
To: sinkspur
He is, in fact, using them, unless he tells them up front he just needs a buddy to go the ball game with. People date, ordinarily, to find mates. He's probably doing the first base, second base and third base thing with them, but saving the home run for marriage. I can respect his behavior and discipline.
To: Pan_Yans Wife
Oh, that's different. My daughter will be celibate until she's 35, if I have my way. I'm a big proponent of the double standard.
To: Mister Magoo
Okay... and your son is supposed to experiment with WHOM? A daughter of someone else, correct?
To: FourPeas
I just don't see how the simple sentences of: "I dated a very intelligent woman, an attorney, who was OK with celibacy," Washington said. "But after six months, she wanted me to make a commitment. She felt if she knew we were going to marry then she could abstain. I couldn't make that promise." can be construed to mean that he was messing with her mind. I just don't see it. Okay, here's how---
1. Let's assume she was not a virgin or celibate prior to meeting Mr. Washington. (It's not much of a stretch, since he says she was "okay" with celibacy, not "absolutely devoted to celibacy". And to be fair to him he is not requiring a virgin, since he wasn't one himself)
2. Girl becomes acquainted with Mr. Washington.
3. Girl and Mr. Washington begin to date, and she finds out he plans to abstain until marriage. In other words, he's going to save himself now for someone very special, his future wife.
4.Girl obviously finds this attitude an attractive quality, since she continues to date him.
5. Mr. Washington, who is on record as "saving himself for that special someone" continues to ask Girl out over and over and over. Since they are not having SEX, it's likely they are having extremely good conversations to compensate (and presumably getting to know each other fairly well).
6. After this man who is "saving himself for someone special" keeps asking her out again and again and again, Girl begins to believe and hope she *is* the "SPECIAL SOMEONE"--
7. Begins to believe he's *her* "special someone",too-- after all, he must be interested in her for her self, not because of sex, like all the other men---
8. Begins to really look forward to consummating their relationship in marriage one day.
9. Begins to wonder why he isn't saying anything about the future, after all that attention.
10. Asks where their relationship is headed, and finds out he's JUST FINE with things the way they are. In other words, she's not so special after all.
Result---messed-up head.
(come on, it's kind of a logical progression.)
To: Capriole
A lot of guys are celibate Not on purpose.
To: Tall_Texan
Since you brought up Viagra, I got to see MRS. Rafael Palmiero on TV last night and, judging from the looks of her, I imagine Rafael gets all sorts of quizzical looks about his Viagra promotionals. If it was difficult to get interested in her, the man must have *really* had problems.Palmeiro's only 39 years old!
I never heard of sexual dysfunction in a man that age unless he's had a physical injury of some kind.
And you're right about his wife. I wonder how she feels about him doing these Viagra ads. Surely he doesn't need the money.
To: Pan_Yans Wife
What if you do marry, and are sexually compatible... later something terrible happens, and one of you loses the ability to have sexual intercourse. Is this reason enough to leave the marriage? Is sex a large part of marriage, or a meaningful part?
______
I was married for almost 10 years, and my husband had a progressive, debilitating disease that pretty much knocked our sex life out after about 5 years.
It wasn't reason enough to leave the marriage, even though it was a heartbreak for both of us (he was in so much pain that even simple cuddling was out of the question.)
Did I stay faithful? Yes. Did we stay married? Yes.
Did I miss sex? YES! To the point of tears most days.
Will I get married again? Probably not.
Will have have sex again? Gee, I hope so!
170
posted on
06/15/2003 1:46:14 PM PDT
by
najida
(What handbasket? And where did you say we were going?)
To: 7 x 77
Among Catholics before the 60's, the large majority were chaste till marriage, and there were few divorces. Contrast that with today. I know, I was raised Catholic. Problem was that people stayed in horrible marriages because of the Church and society's prohibition on divorce. Unless there are some huge problems, people should stay married and grow up. My parents were chaste until marriage. They were quite older than most newlyweds, too. My oldest girl is getting married friday. Even though her and her fiancee live together, they are waiting for marriage. He's Hindu btw.
171
posted on
06/15/2003 1:46:17 PM PDT
by
TheSpottedOwl
(America...love it or leave it. Canada is due north-Mexico is directly south...start walking.)
To: najida
I have a family member who had prostate cancer, and today is impotent. I really feel for him and his wife, they are in their forties. It would never be easy to lose the intimate part of your relationship. However, they are firmly committed to each other and their children. I think they are well prepared to deal with this in their marriage.
To: najida
I was married for almost 10 years, and my husband had a progressive, debilitating disease that pretty much knocked our sex life out after about 5 years. It wasn't reason enough to leave the marriage, even though it was a heartbreak for both of us (he was in so much pain that even simple cuddling was out of the question.)
First of all, let me say how sorry I am, you have my condolences. You have brought up a very important point. Sex isn't the most important thing in a marriage, however I think it bonds you to your partner in a physical way, much like the day to day living bonds you emotionally. I think having that connection helps with dealing with enevitable infirmities down the road. Imo, marriage is a partnership; both husband and wife are there for each other. For better or worse, yeah?
173
posted on
06/15/2003 1:56:35 PM PDT
by
TheSpottedOwl
(America...love it or leave it. Canada is due north-Mexico is directly south...start walking.)
To: TheSpottedOwl
Problem was that people stayed in horrible marriages because of the Church and society's prohibition I know hundreds of Catholics from my parents generation and before who stayed married, and I know none that have the kind of marriage your talking about.
174
posted on
06/15/2003 1:57:44 PM PDT
by
7 x 77
To: TheSpottedOwl
I firmly believe that sex is the reward for married couples. The intimacy involved brings the husband and the wife closer together, not just in a physical sense. The Bible says that when we join, we become one. I think God means that our souls become intertwined, and as the years pass, we act as one, together in all things.
To: Mister Magoo; connectthedots
There are other people out their! :)
Everyone needs to make there own decision on this but their is absolutely NO way I would want to spend time with or marry a guy who tried to have sex with me up front. The fact that he acts as a gentleman tells me many things I like to hear along with the fact he is not obsessed with sex. It truly is important to get to know someone... if your compatable, how they are with children, do you have the same dreams, is he intelligent, kind, considerate etc. Maria's Dad gave Arnold Schwazenegger a dog before they were married and told Maria to watch how he treated that dog because that would be how he treated his kids. I know, I know it is coming from a Democrat but it is a wisdom none the less. If you are planning on being a parent this needs to be a paramount importance to ensure your children have a wonderful parent to cherish their life.
To: 7 x 77
It is amazing when people look at the older generation and marvel at forty, fifty, sixty years of marriage. So many people today do not realize the amount of work that goes into such marriages. The accomplishment for these couples is stunning... that they each put the other before themselves, built a marriage and raised their children.
To: hellinahandcart
Well, good point about six months.
I am looking at it from my perspective, but as people get more mature, six months is like a year-and-a-half at the college level.
178
posted on
06/15/2003 2:03:46 PM PDT
by
rwfromkansas
("There is dust enough on some of your Bibles to write 'damnation' with your fingers." C.H. Spurgeon)
To: Mister Magoo
179
posted on
06/15/2003 2:03:51 PM PDT
by
fnord
( Hyprocisy is the tribute vice pays to virtue)
To: najida
"He may also be very asexual...like a chick I heard on AM talk radio the other night. They were discussing teen sexuality, she stated how she couldn't understand the rush to have sex, since she didn't think it was so great to begin with. Causing the male commentator to sputter and say "My condolences to your ex-husband."
I'd say it's the ex-husband's fault if she didn't think sex was so great. There is no such thing as frigid women, only incompetent(or lazy or selfish) men.
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