I've found that both men and women can come apart at the seams under stressful circumstances. I've worked with women on ambulance runs where drugged out psycho's came at us with knives and the woman in question took the guy out. She handled it because it was her job. I know of an incident where the same woman fell apart and "freaked out" after a killing (by police) when she was off duty and it wasn't her problem. It can be a matter of circumstance. I never have a problem with a trauma case (don't get shook or emotionally stressed) when I'm in a position to help. I've got a job to do and don't have time. I'll get just as strung out and stressed as anyone, man or woman, if it's not my job to "go to work" because I don't have that reflex to fall back on.
People all react differently and the same people will react differently to different situations. I'm glad you were there to take care of your family. I wouldn't be a bit surprised to have had your mom take care of business in the same manner if you weren't there to shoulder the burden for her. Don't sell people short. You'd be surprised, both for the good and the bad, at what some people can do under the right set of circumstances.