I think I gave examples of how Muslim countries differ in their treatment of women. The best place for a woman in any largely Muslim ME nation would be Turkey, and Turkey has attempted a secular government.
All the nations are basing their cultural treatment of women on Sharia law, to one extent or another. The Shia tend to treat women a little better than the Sunni, but unfortunately the Sunni represent the majority of Islam. The Sauds, our "friends" probably treat women the worst, now that the Taliban is defunct.
As for Islam being distinct from the culture, I've made it my business to read the Koran, some of the al Hadish and writings from Mohammed. Being from a Christian evangelical culture, myself, I put great emphasis on original texts as an indicator of authentic ideology.
And the more I read, sadly, the worse it gets.