Man Dying of Child Support Enforcement

Mens News Daily ^ | May 30, 2003 | Roger F. Gay

[Paul C. Jesup]

You seem to forget that MOST of the time is the women who LEAVE the men. While using the courts to make the men into slaves in EVERY SENSE of the word.

Go whine somewhere else.

[666beast]

Breathtaking and thank you for some relief from the personal attack beef that I got caught in.

I can't really add to the insight and foreshadowing in your post.

I'm just thinking of the good men out there who desire healthy marriages, but fear the divorce that will destroy them for life and financially control them.

Nothing is sadder to me than professional men who want marriage so badly, but just know better than that because that's not the way the game is played anymore. It reminds me of what I've been hearing about these reality shows involving relationships where there is indeed an alterior motive behind their dating, it's just sick.

If you fit the above description and are not getting any younger, I'll repeat my advice one more time: perhaps you should look elsewhere for a bride who wants a stable marriage and family.

It's just bad that many of the best and brightest have given up on procreating out of a justified fear.

Either that or just be upfront about a pre-nup.

Reality tv, magazine covers of YM, Cosmo, etc., Aaron Spelling sitcoms, female authors peddling books like The Starter Marriage, Women's Studies, Feminism, courts, lawyers, judges as well as other sources have brainwashed and spoiled many American women, so maybe good American men should just avoid the problem by traveling to Prague or Budapest or Bogota.

One post said that the women he has met simply aren't worth the risk of a failed marriage. That's a wise thought to think.

Another post said that many of the biggest players are men that have had their hearts crushed by a woman. That has not been my observation unless you include that player's own mother as the heart-breaker who threw daddy out of the house for some party money.

Or the type my uncle married, who three years and a daughter later said she needed to go "find herself." You know the type.

Just because the powers that be have appointed many women abiters of a kid's future and given these power-mad mothers the ability to siphon off a man's resources does NOT mean the She is right all of the time! It's not right, it's WRONG!

[LaineyDee]

You obviously have a misperception. The day to day things I do for my son are done with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. The way you describe, you make it sound like a chore or work. Maybe you just weren't cut out for having kids.

Misperception? If your not a divorced, single parent... you can afford to smile. You have help (probably financially as well as physically) and a break when you need it. Raising kids is W-O-R-K, darlin.....enjoyable, yes... at times a real strain, mentally and physically......even inconvenient, once in awhile. Just for the record....I love kids. I have two grown plus several surrogates.....then a couple grandkids which lived with me and I supported for 6 years. I'm also a pediatric nurse. Not "cut-out" for having kids? *chuckle*

As far as child support, if I were to be divorced, I'd offer to pay the mortgage and all utilities (electric, gas, oil, water, basic cable, basic non-long distance phone). I would also pay all necessary direct expenses such as clothes. But I'll be damned if I'm going to write a blank check to support ex-honey's life choices.

Blank check? A bit of an exaggeration there, eh? Most monthly child support checks wouldn't pay half the rent on a decent place. It takes every nickel and then some.....to keep kids clothed, healthy and fed....not to mention transportation and scholastic expenses. It's great that you'd be willing to do so much financially for your child.....but you'd be the exception to the rule...not the norm.

[TheCrusader]

"Great post, too bad you forgot to mention how a man stays married to a women bent of divorce in a nation that grants "no-fault" divorces upon request".

"I could give you some suggestions. The question is, would you have the stomach for it".

Not very long ago most married couples in a rocky marriage stayed together until the kids were grown up. As mature adults they put their children's health and welfare first, and they found a way to get along reasonably during the interim. Today, the almighty "self" rears its ugly head in rocky marriages and in about 85 -90% of these divorce cases the wife runs to an attorney who sets the divorce process in motion. This attorney will then surely fill her head up with her "rights", (translation: if she retains him, he will get her the house, the kids, and a sizeable chunk of hubby's paycheck). Next, the "family" practice attorney will seek to gain leverage in Court. One well documented way to do this is to put a freeze on the man's assets, and put an abuse restraining order on him. This keeps him out of the house, away from the children, and emotionally beaten down during the process. No thanks, I don't need to know how to stay with a woman who doesn't want to put her children before her own imagined "happiness" with some other man---that's a process that used to just come natural. Until the advent of feminism, that is. (btw, studies have shown that 80% of women who divorce their husbands also divorce their second husbands, so save the arugment that all these men are abusive and dangerous for somebody else. I've done my research.

[Paul C. Jesup]

Most monthly child support checks wouldn't pay half the rent on a decent place.

So, you enjoy having you ex-husband being forcably homeless and starving.

You man-hating feminists make me sick.

[Orangedog]

I'm in my early 30's, decent weight and I guess not too hard to look at, but I haven't dated in 9 years. My divorce was final when I was 21. Starting out married a few months shy of 20 wasn't the smartest move in the world, but there have been generations where that worked fine. The big issue was my stupidity for getting involved with a girl whose mother had been married 4 times. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree because my ex is now also on her 4th marriage. Lucky me, I was mugging-victim #1...the warm up act.

My kid is the bright spot in my life. She's really the only soul on Earth that I can honestly say that I love unconditionally. For that, I'm confronted with a self-serving, domineering, harpie of an ex-wife uses her kids as a means of control over the men in her life. 14 years of this has definately had an impact on my outlook and charactor. I remember the person I was at one time...The one that could enojy the company of women without wondering what her angle is. No, I'm done with dating. Most of the women in my age group are either married, obese, or has already been divorced. The one's who don't already have kids, and that's most of them, want to have kids. I'll be damned if I expose myself to that kind of emotional devistation and financial surfdom ever again.

Like I said earlier, I'm through with the whole debate. Just take a look how a board as heavily "conservative" and a haven for the "freedom-loving", and then take a look at how the exchange on this topic goes. All of a sudden, Marxism has it's place in the West and some of the tactics used in the former Soviet Union had some merit after all. As far as I'm concerned, they win....we're all bad guys who deserve every bad thing that could possibly happen to us and we should be greatful that the system even tollerates us. What goes around, comes around...and when it comes back around on them a few years from now, these people would be wasting their time to think that I'll lift a finger to rally to their cause or even give them the time of day. The women who think that they are in control (and the men who think the system is so great) will eventually find out that their kids don't really belong to them. The state will have taken the rights that they thought they had away with their kids. These people are too petty and vengeful to see that that are being used just as much as we are. The only difference is that they think that they have been "empowered." They can hate us all they want...Eventually, they are going to be us.

[ChemistCat]

So how many women have left you for no good reason?

[chiromommy]

Physical and emotional, I won't exploit it with details. I am well aware of the less-than-perfect childhood my girls have to suffer through. They have to pay the price for my marrying such a specimen as their father, but if I hadn't, they wouldn't be here. As always, the children suffer for the choices of their parents. I won't pretend that I know exactly what it's like for the children of single parents, but I do know that I do everything in my power to help and support mine. Any advice you have for me, from the child's perspective, would be very much appreciated.

[LaineyDee]

You man-hating feminists make me sick.

*chuckle* You need to grow up and get help for your deep-seated bitterness. I'm very happily married and would rather be at home cooking, gardening, cleaning and being a wife, than working. Feminist? Anything but. So take your poison and spew it elsewhere.

[Paul C. Jesup]

None, I know better than risk my freedom with someone who can destroy my life.

Now, how many people's lifes have YOU destroyed?

[Paul C. Jesup]

Then you should stop defending people who destroy people's lifes.

[LaineyDee]

And you should do the same, darlin. Get some help.

[Paul C. Jesup]

I am tried of seeing hypocrites like you saying that men must have ALL the responsibilities but NONE of the rewards in life.

You have striped me and those like me of any possible happiness in the future.

So I say to you, shut-up.

[Woahhs]

Any advice you have for me, from the child's perspective, would be very much appreciated.

Always remember, despite the fact there is no higher authority in your children's lives, you are not "right" by definition.

[LaineyDee]

I am tried of seeing hypocrites like you saying that men must have ALL the responsibilities but NONE of the rewards in life.

Never said that. As a matter of fact, I was married for 25 yrs to a very emotionally/mentally abusive man. I left after the last kid married. I didn't accept alimony or his retirement package..(which I was entitled to)...made sure every bill and loan was paid off....left him the house and half the furniture, plus the checking and savings. (Mean ol' lady....that's me!) I could've been bitter and angry about all the years I wasted on this man.....but I sure didn't take it out on the rest of the male population. A few years later, I remarried and all is well.

You have striped me and those like me of any possible happiness in the future.

I haven't done a thing to you...or anyone like you. Reread the above. In an earlier post to someone on this board...you related you've never been married. Are you just anticipating or what? Divorce is nasty...and it's never "fair". There are evil people in this world.....both men and women. The liberals have destroyed the family by brainwashing women into thinking they can be men.....and brainwashing men into believing they should be. Messed up the whole system.

So I say to you, shut-up.

How old are you? Did you get grounded or something? *chuckle*

[Paul C. Jesup]

EVERY single ex-wife says their ex-husband was an emotionally/mentally abusive man (just more male-bashing). And since YOU left him, you are morally entitled to NOTHING.

[LaineyDee]

1-800-Get-Help

[666beast]

You got married and moved on and didn't stick forks in him, good for you.

My best friend is almost twenty years older than me and on her second marriage to a guy my age! I can't believe it.

She's a pretty redhead woman who always talks about her teenage sons, what she tells them about life, and how they react to it. She also always gives me the best advice. She's still friends with her ex-husband, but said he was an alcoholic, so, finally, she left him with the 2 kids, but didn't make it a point to rub his face in it and make him suffer forever like some sadist.

I've never met a better woman truly. Everything she says and does is positive for the men in her life and she's happy. She's told me the mistakes she's made and yet, she still guts it out at a lame job and just started going back to school. Unreal.

Although I don't think I would settle down with an older woman, her sons and husband are very fortunate to have such a good woman in their life.

Once upon a time, women said, " A good man is hard to find ..." How things have changed! You've come a long way (cry) babies!

[k2blader]

Time after time in this society, people hold big heavy buckets of liquid manure over their heads and pour it out on top of themselves, and then whine that gravity did it to them.

I hear you.

Marriage is a commitment too many take too lightly.

[LaineyDee]

Good for your friend! I don't know that I could have married anyone 20 years my junior! Wow. I dated a man who was 6 yrs younger......and it was too "weird" for me. *chuckle* She sounds like a remarkable lady tho. :)