[ConsistentLibertarian]

I lament that a sanctified covenent between man and wife has been breached in this way.

But maybe there's a lesson here. I've never been married and I'm too young to think about it seriously, and I take it you are married, so I offer the following observation with some humility.

But it seems to me that If one wants to do everything possible to make a marriage (or any intimate relationship) work, one has to make it safe for one's partner to talk about their deepest, kinkiest, wildest sexual desires and fantasies. People aren't often good at even KNOWING these things, so it's not as easy as saying "hey, you can tell me". One has to probe, experiment, be open and emotionally available, and always, always, always, communicate.

It sounds easier than it is, especially when we're talking about non-vanilla sex. But it might make the marriage better, and it would certainly make the sex much better.

Maybe if his wife had brought the kink out of him, they'd still be together, maybe even feeling a deeper emotional bond by having shared these sorts of deep, dark, scary desires with each other.

All I can say is, I've had kinky friends in my life (there are all kinds of ways to be kinky) and I've been richly rewarded for having understood them and having shared that understanding with them.

Peace,

[SeaDragon]

But it seems to me that If one wants to do everything possible to make a marriage (or any intimate relationship) work, one has to make it safe for one's partner to talk about their deepest, kinkiest, wildest sexual desires and fantasies. People aren't often good at even KNOWING these things, so it's not as easy as saying "hey, you can tell me". One has to probe, experiment, be open and emotionally available, and always, always, always, communicate.

Very well said.......

Bravo!