Ahh, I see you have picked up on the subtle "nuances" that Ms. Dowd and her ilk are so proud of. Or maybe, Dowd et al simply do not know how to write.
Maureen Dowd could make bacon taste like tuna. I consider that a sufficiently nuanced statement as well. And I can't write worth a darn.
Just a short note thanking the inventors of the internet for not including smell.