Why Graham Will Win It (Jimmy Breslin Endorses Bob Graham In Bizarre, Rambling Column)

Newsday ^ | May 21, 2003 | Jimmy Breslin

[PJ-Comix]

They put a drama about Hitler on CBS television, which was the idea of some complete fruitcake, and look what happens.

"The Police Department's motives are something that nobody should question."

How do you like him? How do you like the country he imagines he's in? The woman, Alberta Spruill, was dressing for a day of her 29th year of work. A dozen cops using some homeless bum as a stool pigeon come busting into the apartment of this black working woman, a church woman. They put handcuffs on her and frightened her to death.

[PJ-Comix]

They put a drama about Hitler on CBS television, which was the idea of some complete fruitcake, and look what happens.

Another fruitcake writes a bizarre, rambling column that goes nowhere?

I make him the favorite because I make him the favorite.

Uh, great reasoning there, Jimmy.

My opinion does not come out of the wind.

No. It comes out of a lot of stale hot air.

Last January, my friend Leo Diehl called from Florida. "Graham is head and shoulders over these others," he said.

You should have said, "my senile friend."

After George W. Bush lost the vote and won the judges, Diehl went over candidates for the next time around. "Graham is going to be the winner," he said.

That settles it. Diehl is ALWAYS right.

At the Harvard Club yesterday, Graham spoke to a full room. A lot of the questions were about health issues. We must write about this later, and in careful detail. The first thing I noticed is that he happened to be sane.

Maybe, Jimmy, but have you also noticed that Graham is as senile as you?

"To win, a candidate has to be a centrist..."

I despise centrists.....Graham is my choice.

Huh? Jimmy, wake up! Didn't you read what Graham himself said about being a centrist?

This is frightening! Apparently senility has badly affected Jimmy Breslin.

[dennisw]

Breslin pickled his brain years ago.

[Rodney King]

Ugh, another excerpt. What's the deal?

[JennysCool]

Wow, you ain't kiddin'! This is one of the weirdest columns I've read in ... well, ever springs to mind. Seriously, do you think Breslin may have had a stroke and his editors haven't picked up on it yet? Or maybe it's something more along the lines of what blotto Joseph Cotten's theater review would have looked like had Orson Welles not rewritten it for him in Citizen Kane! Howlin, thought you might like to ping the list to this one ...

[PJ-Comix]

Ugh, another excerpt. What's the deal?

Not my choice. Apparently Newsday is one of those publications that requires an excerpt. However, click on the link. Breslin's rambling column that goes NOWHERE provides a lot of laughs.

[dc-zoo]

Bob Graham doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of being the demorat nominee.

[hellinahandcart]

This isn't a job for S.U.E. (Stop Unnecessary Excerpting)

We *have* to excerpt Newsday, it's a Washington Compost subsiduary.

[hellinahandcart]

subsidiary, geez...

[PJ-Comix]

This is one of the weirdest columns I've read in ... well, ever springs to mind. Seriously, do you think Breslin may have had a stroke and his editors haven't picked up on it yet?

Not only does Breslin's column ramble AIMLESSLY, he contradicts himself (Graham claims he's a centrist, then Breslin states that he hates centrists, then Breslin endorses Graham), tosses in names from the distant past (Leo Diehl from Florida) and then finally ends with this "gem:"

He then went out into the bright sunshine and heavy New York traffic.

[Rodney King]

Oh, I'm really sorry. I didn't know newsday was a required on.

[JennysCool]

Yeah. It's stream-of-unconsciousness...

[Lunatic Fringe]

I do believe Graham will be the nominee for the Dems, and he will be a force to reckon with. He WILL win Florida.

[hellinahandcart]

These are the main ones we have to excerpt (there are a few others, but I can't remember them and they don't put out a lot of news:

LA TIMES
Washington Post
Newsday
ChicagoTribune
Newsweek
MSNBC
Baltimore Sun
Hartford Courant
CT Times Mirror
Sun-Sentinel
International Herald Tribune

[PJ-Comix]

I do believe Graham will be the nominee for the Dems, and he will be a force to reckon with. He WILL win Florida.

No he won't. Even folks here in Florida rarely hear about Graham. He keeps a VERY low profile....until now.

[Agricola]

Never been a fan of Breslin and I am not a frequent reader. But your assessment is right. This is a bizarre column. Is he over 70?

[hellinahandcart]

Man, that is a hard article to get through. End-stage syphilis?

[jackbill]

I do believe Graham will be the nominee for the Dems, and he will be a force to reckon with. He WILL win Florida.

Graham will not be the nominee. Take it to the bank. Graham is an obsessive/compulsive, who could be destroyed in an instant.

Breslin is a typical Irish drunk, a la Kennedy, Moynihan, et al (did you ever wonder why you never saw these folks on TV after 6 PM?). Perhaps he should have written the article before he went to the pub.

[PJ-Comix]

Breslin reminds me of some old-timer you might have to sit next to on a plane flight who rambles on and on and brings in obscure names such as that Leo guy and then contradicts himself and then tells you a long story that quickly loses direction.

[clintonh8r]

One reputable poll (sorry, can't remember which one) already has Bush beating Graham Cracker in Floriduh and another has Bush beating John F. Kerry-Heinz in MA. Must be the Gore effect..candidate can't even win his own state...

[faithincowboys]

Somewhere Karl Rove is praying that Jimmy the jerk is right.