She is not invited to come. She is not allowed to come. And she will NEVER be allowed or invited to come. Period. End of story.
And there is nothing wrong with that.
You don't have a marriage, you have a business relationship.
It sounds like most of the time she isn't selling for the price you want to pay.
When you are willing to pay the price required, you have a deal.
As I said, you already have the perfect marriage.
As long as anything is more important to each of you it will remain that way.
Again, you make your choices, and get what you choose.