Thank you!
After the baby was born, she really changed -permanently. It did not help that My daughter and I bonded immediately, to the point where she preferred My company over the mother's almost exclusively. It angered the mother to the point of rage; after all, SHE was the one who bore the child, not Me. The relationship started rapidly spiralling out of control after that, to the point that in about six months we went on our separate ways.
At that point, not only was I working full time, I was also coming home and cleaning the house, doing the laundry, making dinner, and cleaning dishes afterward. All while carrying our daughter about with Me while I was doing this. Every day. Why, you may ask? Because she was thoroughly exhausted from having to spend all day dealing with a crying baby, and had no energy for anything else! (she would throw at Me) I, being the madly inconsiderate boob that had fallen hopelessly in love with her, agreed to do all the housechores so that she could relax in front of the telly after her excruciatingly trying day -that and the fact that I made dinner because of a self-preservation instinct; she could make charcoal out of water! I tried to teach her some simple recipies, but she would become greatly annoyed with Me whenever I suggested it, and accuse Me of attempting to demean her by pointing out her lack of housekeeping abilities. Eventually, I simply gave up, as I had enough to do to occupy My time.
With the job I had at the time, I was occasionally required to work overtime, and this did not go over at all well with her, who accused Me of actively fabricating reasons to not do "My share" of the housekeeping duties -hers being concerned with taking care of our daughter during the day while I was working. On one occasion, there had been some major difficulty at the plant, and I had arrived home well past midnight. She was awake but with her eyes closed on her side of the bed, and I was so exhausted it was all I could do to peel off My clothes and lay down for some much-needed sleep. I was so drained, I could not even have raised some interest, let alone anything else, if I tried. She, however, was having none of it, and became quite insistant about some performance on My part. I was in extreme pain, I was aching with exhaustion and My eyes felt like they were coated with cobwebs, and when it became apparant that her machinations were of no avail, she went bonkers.
It was by far the greatest row we ever had. She accused Me of being unfaithful to her, of being some type of "pervert" because I had obviously taken matters in My own hand -as it were- when she was not about, of there being something unspeakably odd in a man who did not desire to have sex when his spouse was ready... you think of it, she accused Me of it.
She began calling Me at odd times at work to see if I was there, and calling My boss to see if My claimed work times were indeed correct and if they were actually necessary (he tried to be understanding about it, but I could see that he was not enthused with the phone calls). She even began barging in on Me when I was in the shower or on the loo to see if I was... excersizing My rights, shall we say? It even got to the point that she would grasp Me at odd times in the middle of the night while I was sleeping, sometimes announcing "ha! I caught you!" (she did not).
This is what I endured while I attempted to make our relationship work out, so while I empathise with your dilemma, I can not honestly say that your situation is that bad. I do not say that your spouse is anything less than deplorable, but I think you see clearly enough that you need to sit him down and get several things straight or he will lose you, and that includes sharing of the household duties and helping with the children. I understand that you need to vent, and a forum such as this provides ample opportunity to do so, so I do not begrudge you that. I warn you, however, not to approach it as a set of demands that must be fulfilled, but rather that you and he are partners in the relationship, who love (or used to) one another, and you need his help to make it work. If you approach it with a loving intent and desire to have a fulfilling relationship, with him, you will do much better than hunting him down with an attitude and a bad mood.
I wish you luck.