Shirk Ethic: How to Fake A Hard Day at the Office

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL ^ | Thursday, May 15, 2003 | JANE SPENCER

[Living Free in NH]

I fake it by sitting at my desk and posting on FR all day...

[Abe Froman]

This sounds like something George Costanza would do.....your other option is, while in the office, pretend to be agitated and frustrated whenever someone comes into your office, because it makes you look busy.

[meowmeow]

Not me...oops, got to go...

[okkev68]

And we wonder why more and more jobs are moving overseas? At the reduced wage they can hire people to stand behind you with a gun pointed at your head to make sure you work 10 hours a day for $5.

[Fudd]

... a vice president at Charles Schwab... says he is more concerned about the work being completed than the time stamp on an e-mail... the Denver tech worker who manipulated his computer from a nearby diner so he could take three-hour lunches, says he was eventually fired...

Bottom line: you can't fake results.

"You don't have to actually lie, ... you just let your e-mail program suggest you're working late."

From the same people who brought us "It depends on what the meaning of the word IS is."

[angkor]

All well and good, except that management often sends exactly the same message back to employees.

It becomes pretty noticable when (after hearing the incessant company mantra about "hard work") you put in a week or two of late nights and find the office deserted even by management at 5:45, and it's a ghost town when you come in at 8:30AM.

A couple of Fridays ago, even the CEO was out the door at 5:25, but not before ignoring a critical document on his desk for several hours. And this is the guy who preaches "strong work ethic."

[battlegearboat]

Does the University of Maryland offer a degree in work shirking?

[buccaneer81]

Are you really the sausage king of Chicago? ;-)

[WhiskeyPapa]

Are you really the sausage king of Chicago? ;-)

ROFL

Walt

[SouthParkRepublican]

Im in touch with that scenario.

[1rudeboy]

And we wonder why more and more jobs are moving overseas?

We wonder that a lot here. If this was one of those threads, I'd be obligated to post "Repeal NAFTA and GATT now!"

[WaveThatFlag]

We wonder that a lot here. If this was one of those threads, I'd be obligated to post "Repeal NAFTA and GATT now!"

Sure that makes a lot of sense. ENCOURGE lower productivity. Riiiight...

[Kenton]

Of course, if your management is insightful enough to measure your contribution by how much work you get done rather than how long you hang around the office, it doesn't really matter.

The reason we have offices in the first place is to give us a place to keep the tools we need to do our work. In the "old days" that meant your desk, filing cabinets, telephone, mailbox, etc. Today my office is potentially anyplace I have my laptop computer and a phone connection. Which means on those really crappy, snowey NE Ohio winter days, I can log on from home in my 'jammies, get my e-mail and voice mail, access all the servers I need to get work documents, etc.

Bottom line is, the job gets done. If I have a meeting, I have to go in, obviously. (My company allows telecommuting, BTW.)

I am no more physically "tied" to my office at work than I am "tied" to the telephone hooked into the wall at home since I got a cell phone.

[CommandoFrank]

When I was in the military, I knew an old Master Sargent who always had a second hat in his desk drawer. When he wanted to 'disappear' for a while, he'd put the spare hat on his desk and leave.

When people went to see him, they'd see his hat on the desk and think he was somewhere within the building.

[1rudeboy]

And now I would be obligated to post the story of my second-cousin, who lost his job at the urinal-cake factory.

[LiteKeeper]

"Freeping considered hard work!"

[moodyskeptic]

The modern office simply does not lend itself to a strict 9 to 5 schedule. Real work, not busywork, comes in spurts and doldrums. Those of us that left the clocked time workaday world to start our own business see it clearly.

You can be amazingly efficient for two hours, getting done work to last two days, then you can spend four hours fiddling with software or the copier. Unlike farming, factory assembly work and ditch digging, white collar work is not consistent in productivity hour to hour.

A smart and wealthy businessman once told me that he wanted only an AVERAGE of 40 hours a week from his employees, that when possible they should go home at noon some days and stay til midnight on others. This is the way many jobs could function. It works.

Walt Disney's Imagineers goofed off alot, many envied their antics like Dixieland bands and hobbies. But when projects needed round the clock attention, Walt had them stay put working late into the night, sleeping in small apartments attached to the offices. I've been in those offices, and the adjoining apartments with kitchens, showers and small uncomfortable beds.

Forcing intelligent adults to conform to 9 to 5 when their jobs don't call for it is insulting, and they will react accordingly.

Sorry for the rant.

[pabianice]

Yah, but to do any of this you first actually have to have a job...

[Grando Calrissian]

Bob Slydell: If you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door--that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh--after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.