HUSBAND'S 'BUTT' CRACK ENDS IN SLAY

NY POST ^ | May 12, 2003 | LARRY CELONA

[katnip]

May 12, 2003 -- A Brooklyn woman stabbed her hubby to death early yesterday after he complained about her figure and how long she spent using the computer, cops said.

Judy Thomas, 27, was in the bedroom of the pair's basement apartment on Hemlock Street in Cypress Hills around 1 a.m. when her husband, Jackson Thomas, berated her about the amount of time she spent on the computer, investigators said.

[AppyPappy]

One less dog-paddler in the gene pool.

[E Rocc]

At least he didn't have his kids do his dirty work.

-Eric

[SquirrelKing]

"They seemed like a normal couple,"

Sadly true.

[katnip]

"Butt crack?"

Crack meaning snide remark.

Is this only a New Yorkism?

[tutstar]

only 'automatic assault knives' are illegal.......

[katnip]

LOL. I hope they're not your darlings..

[snowstorm12]

He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

JUDY:
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,
minding my own business,
and in storms my husband Jackson, in a rage.
"You been sitting on the computer all day again, that is why your butt is so big" he says.
He was crazy and he kept screamin',
"you been sitting on the computer all day again, that is why your butt is so big"
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times!

[MizSterious]

Ping!

[MattinNJ]

You know, if I made a crack about my wife's butt being too big, and she picked up a knife and pointed it toward me, the last thing that I would say is "whadday gonna do? Stab me?"

Definite candidate for the Darwin Awards. I'd hate to be the deciding member on the jury. I mean he (literally) asked for it. Being married myself, I think he got off easy. I could see some wives (not mine, mind you) torturing the poor s.o.b. after a crack like that.

[tom h]

Will somebody please tell me what the origin of the "Hold Muh Beer" [and all its variants] is?

[SouthernFreebird]

He was pushing her around and still coming at her when she used the knife and shes being charged with MURDER!!! since when are we not allowed to defend ourselves? WTF is wrong with this Country when kicking a police dog gets you 8 years and defending yourself against an attack is murder...any woman here who's been shoved around the house knows whats coming next and there comes a day you just ain't gonna be slapped around anymore. This just sux.

[mhking]

The classic (and completely politically incorrect) joke asks what the last thing a redneck (alternately Polish or member any other politically incorrect group) says before he dies? The answer - and the source of the saying on FR - is "Here, hold muh beer 'n watch this!"

[katnip]

You're not allowed to defend yourself in N.Y.

[zarf]

I do think a woman's expanding posterior is grounds for complaint. I have a butt size limit for my future wives in all my pre nuptuals.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Why Jamaica Hospital? There have to half a dozen closer. Charge the ambulance crew as accessories.

[Cooter]

With their address you'd think she'd have poisoned him.

[BBT]

She would have been better off using the more fun approach of "making him regret" his horrible lapse in judgement...shopping for a more flattering wardrobe, at only the finer stores, with his credit card.

[Willie Green]

At least he didn't have his kids do his dirty work.

Those kids are highly unlikely to survive until puberty.
If there is one thing kids need to learn, it is to NEVER, EVER sass their mama.
It just ain't a very smart thing to do.

[MattinNJ]

Just as a warmup.

[HuntsvilleTxVeteran]

"Please Mother don't stab Father with the BREAD-KNIFE,
Remember 'twas a gift when you were wed.
But if you must stab Father with the BREAD-KNIFE,
Please Mother use another for the BREAD."


--- Robert Service