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FRENCHY: WINE WON’T HACK IT

Tony hits the Big Five 0. Whoopeee. Three cheers for Brit Tony. Hurrah hurrah hurrah.

Okay, now that that’s over, break out the wine? Ooops. Better read that card. It’s signed “French President Jacques Chirac”.

Kinda makes one think twice before swigging down, eh? Like the New Sweden Lutherans in Maine now thinking thrice afore wafting down that church kitchen coffee — considering that one fellow lies six feet under while other parishioners languish in Bangor hospital.

Bottled water looks pretty good these days, even though my dad would have labeled us all nuts for spending good money on water! Next we’ll be paying for breathing fresh air.

But back to Tony’s birthday bash. Chirac is there in the room via a wine bottle. Appears like a Brit can’t even get in the same room with friends without a tense moment. Oh well, Prime Ministers are supposed to be up to all that.

Chirac’s wine bit was touted as a “peace offering,” according to Reuters News. The wine was delivered prompto on Tony’s actual natal day. So somebody back in French home cares enough to send the very best — six bottles of 1989 vintage Chateau Mouton Rothschild and a Saint-Louis crystal carafe to boot. Can’t beat that for getting tipsy nice.

The media states that Britain and France have endured “months of frosty relations due to differences over Iraq.” That’s saying it in understatement.

Then there’s the card, not only with sig but with sweet tidings: "Knowing how much you love staying in France, I have the pleasure of offering you a present illustrating the quality of the land of our country, which you know so well," Chirac wrote.
Now that could be read tongue-in-check, that is, if Tony got up on the wrong side of his birthday bed Tuesday morn. The start-out could sound almost sarcastic: “. . .love staying in France. . .” Yeah, like taking a walk through Harlem at midnight. Thank you very much for nothing, Chirac.
And then those syrupy, kiss-ups: “. . .I have the pleasure of offering you a present. . .” Sure thing, Frenchy, as if wine bottles can make up for feeding Saddam info about US programming behind the US back, all the while Iraqis lay languishing under Saddam’s murderous regime.
Sure thing, Frenchy, as if wine bottles can make up for handing out passports to escapee Iraqi officials who had fled to Syria, thus opening up European Union country doors to thugs from Hussein Cult Maximum.
Sure thing, Frenchy, as if wine bottles can atone for slapping around the United States President George W. Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair — incessantly badgering them day and night, even to the point of Tony practically being slid off his PM’s chair — permanently.
Sure thing, Frenchy, as if wine bottles can make up for your in-bed-with Russia and Germany alliance to gang up against Iraqi citizens held captive by the despot. As if wine bottles can make up for your cozying up to Russia and Germany against the US-led coalition who sought to topple the very Hussein you were supplying goods to.
Not on your life, Frenchy. Wine won’t hack it. A genuine come-clean might help. An outright apology would begin to atone. A frank speech to world media concerning your regrets for making wrong choices and undermining decent alliances would go a long way to repairing relations.
But several bottles of good wine? I don’t think.