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Mice, Marijuana, and Madness
drugwar.com ^ | May 6, 2003 | Robert F. Stone, PhD

Posted on 05/06/2003 9:12:35 PM PDT by Timesink

Mice, Marijuana, and Madness

Forwarded by
Jay R. Cavanaugh, PhD

May 1, 2003

posted at DrugWar.com
May 6, 2003

Exclusive to the Journal of Popular Science. Originally published in Murine Eugenics A Review of Work conducted by: Eva Peron Memorial Genome Project- Buenos Aires University of Advanced Biomedical Science

From Science Reporter
Robert F. Stone, PhD

From the House of Lords in England to the PETA chapters in the United States, a huge outcry has developed over the latest use of mice in medical experiments. It wasn't bad enough to give mice cancer, make them dance on hotplates, and wear obscure cosmetics. Now, scientists have gone far further by addicting mice to a variety of drugs, particularly marijuana (called cannabis in medical circles).

Apparently, it is not difficult to provide mice with marijuana and do research. All you need is a government willing to sponsor any marijuana research so long as it provides negative results, a government source of marijuana, and willing mice. The mice seem more than willing, even eager to join these experiments. In this sense the mice apparently mimic the predilections of American high school students. Considering the previous, one would expect to see mouse marijuana experiments right here in America (perhaps even Georgia). Yet it is south of the equator where the envelope is being pushed, specifically the nation of Argentina. One might suspect that Argentina would experiment directly on humans, at least leftist students or union leaders. However, even in Argentina experimentation on humans is discouraged although secret executions remain common practice. Obviously, small steps in consciousness are on the prowl in the Argentine.

This reporter journeyed to a small University outpost in Las Flores, Argentina some 200 km south of Buenos Aires to see marijuana experimentation first hand. Las Flores is aptly named as one can immediately see from the large blooming triffid like marijuana flowers filling a mountain valley shown below. This potent local variety once cultivated by the Mapuche native tribes is called "Green Tango" or "Tango de Verde".

Las Flores is also the home of the Eva Peron Memorial Eugenics Institute which specializes in murine (mice) experimentation. It is here that science witnessed the birth of the first mice bred for cannabis experimentation (Mota mice). Mota mice can either have normal cannabinoid receptors (Mota N), have cannabinoid receptors removed in knock out experiments (Mota Minus), or have enhanced receptors (Mota Mejor).

What this reporter found is difficult to describe so apologies are made in advance for shocking any reader sensibilities and caution is made to not allow small children to read further.

The first serious problems arose when lab workers were shocked to discover that the Mota Minus mice not only failed to thrive but were completely nude (photo below).

Researchers familiar with the 60's in America would have known that there is a direct relationship between the growing of hair and cannabis consumption. Who can forget those long haired weirdo Haight Asbury pot heads? Obviously, however, cannabis, natural or otherwise, is required not only for feeding but for having decent levels of body hair. This research finding was suppressed by the Institute at the urging of local DEA officials attached to the Argentine military despite protests from some researchers who think marijuana may cure baldness.

The situation becomes even worse when one takes a look at the Mota Mejor mouse. Researchers were startled to discover that these mice not only put on the pounds but had the capacity to smoke the Zig-Zag Man or the Kotton Mouth Kings right under the bong. It was their ravenous appetites and disheveled appearance that was most amazing (photo below). At least at first…….

It was only when a number of long haired shaggy Mota Mejor's escaped that the true horror of science gone wrong was identified. The first report to surface was an assault mounted by a squadron of mice on the Culinary Institute of Las Cuchinas. Several Mota's died following the assault from overdoses of pan dulce. The entire facility was looted and alien appearing engorged Mota's were seen vanishing into the hills carrying bags of Cheetos.

Worst of all are reports of a serial rat rapist operating in the slums of Buenos Aires. According to one senior research fellow (The Eichman Fellow at the Eva Peron facility), fat, pot addicted mice are prone to sexual violence, particularly against albino rats. Felonies against humans have not yet been reported but assaults have been rumored on a number of unsuspecting cats.

One last strange finding about the Mota Mejor is the fact that they glow under black lights. This too should have been anticipated (see photo below). It is not known if they favor lava lamps.

What possible benefit can come from such twisted research? Will we someday witness Mota mice dance the Green Tango on hotplates while coupling feverishly with cheese snacks? This writer joins the chorus of protest and hopes readers will write Argentinean authorities to stop such abuses.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: addiction; evaperon; marijuana; mice; pot; wodlist
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1 posted on 05/06/2003 9:12:35 PM PDT by Timesink
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To: Timesink
I lost concentration after the first few sentences...
2 posted on 05/06/2003 9:19:32 PM PDT by Sir Gawain
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Comment #3 Removed by Moderator

To: Sir Gawain
I lost consciousness after the first few sentences...
4 posted on 05/06/2003 9:23:52 PM PDT by At a Later Date
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To: Timesink
Libertarian pot-head/hooker alert.
5 posted on 05/06/2003 9:24:18 PM PDT by moyden2000
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To: moyden2000
"It was their ravenous appetites and disheveled appearance that was most amazing (photo below)."

I see a rather hilarious cartoon but not a photo. This is one of the funniest articles I've read in a long time!
6 posted on 05/07/2003 7:15:45 AM PDT by Blzbba
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To: Timesink; jmc813; Wolfie; MrLeRoy; *Wod_list
nice, let's get some attention to this thread,
7 posted on 05/07/2003 7:24:06 AM PDT by vin-one (I wish i had something clever to put in this tag)
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To: Timesink
Drug topics, especially with the drugists, become a flamewar almost every time because if you criticize drugs, they take it personal in a bizarre way.

I wish there was an option on fr to auto-ignore them, or at least get them off breaking news.
8 posted on 05/07/2003 7:37:41 AM PDT by Monty22
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To: Wolfie; vin-one; WindMinstrel; philman_36; Beach_Babe; jenny65; AUgrad; Xenalyte; Bill D. Berger; ..
WOD Ping
9 posted on 05/07/2003 7:51:46 AM PDT by jmc813 (The average citizen in Baghdad,right now, has more firearm rights than anyone in our country.)
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To: Monty22
There is a way to ignore them, don't open them up,

by the way the flame war's are usually started by the drug warriors,
not the "drugists".
10 posted on 05/07/2003 7:57:14 AM PDT by vin-one (I wish i had something clever to put in this tag)
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To: Monty22
I wish there was an option on fr to auto-ignore them

And yet you not only read them but post to them.

11 posted on 05/07/2003 8:02:30 AM PDT by MrLeRoy ("That government is best which governs least.")
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To: MrLeRoy
It's hard to resist sometimes, but I'm trying.

This subject is way way too stupid to go on about or care about. There's things like serious war going on..
12 posted on 05/07/2003 8:31:27 AM PDT by Monty22
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To: vin-one
Naw, the flamewar starts with mcleroy almost always. The drugists take extreme offense to their prized chemicals, and freak.
13 posted on 05/07/2003 8:32:13 AM PDT by Monty22
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To: Monty22
The flame wars are started in order to get threads moved to the SBR.
14 posted on 05/07/2003 9:19:44 AM PDT by tacticalogic (Controlled application of force is the sincerest form of communication.)
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To: Blzbba
I see a rather hilarious cartoon but not a photo. This is one of the funniest articles I've read in a long time!

You're one of maybe three people that have posted to this thread thus far that have actually READ it.

15 posted on 05/07/2003 9:35:50 AM PDT by Timesink
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To: Monty22
What is your point? Are you not the originator of this particular flamewar in progress?
16 posted on 05/07/2003 10:17:33 AM PDT by jayef
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To: Monty22
Gee. I'm drug addled and I can still wrap my mind around two topics at one time. You want a hit?
17 posted on 05/07/2003 10:19:14 AM PDT by jayef
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To: jayef
This one is not a flamewar..

I dunno what you're talking about.
18 posted on 05/07/2003 10:28:32 AM PDT by Monty22
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To: Monty22
the flamewar starts with mcleroy almost always.

Rubbish---I have never started a flamewar.

19 posted on 05/07/2003 11:44:01 AM PDT by MrLeRoy ("That government is best which governs least.")
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To: Monty22
The drugists take extreme offense to their prized chemicals

I have no "prized chemicals"---I use no drugs, including the deadly addictive drugs alcohol and tobacco.

20 posted on 05/07/2003 11:45:31 AM PDT by MrLeRoy ("That government is best which governs least.")
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