Posted on 05/05/2003 6:42:37 PM PDT by Diddle E. Squat
![]() |
President Ronald Reagan Is Asked What He'd Want The American People To Remember Most About His Presidency -- His Reply (short .wav file) *click on pic* |
Fabulous! Thank you Eagle9. FReegards. |
FUTURE NEWS
The date is 8/22/03
Newly elected Iraqi President Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf a.k.a. "Baghdad Bob" meets the master.
|
Baghdad- Former US President Bill Clinton arrived at Jessica Lynch International Airport in Baghdad this morning for what was to begin a month long training seminar with the newly elected Iraqi President Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf a.k.a. "Baghdad Bob. Bob won a resounding victory in last weeks elections for President of the newly established Iraqi government when it was decided by the Iraqi people to follow the example of the US and institute a system of Democracy despite severe comdemnations from France and Hollywood. Among the most vocal opponents of this were actors Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins who were said by their publicist to be in Iraq at this very moment "absolutely outraged" by this decision, traveling around by limosine with a 100 person entourage that incuded the press, personal chefs, a masseuse, a hairdresser, bodyguards, and a tailor demanding that the Iraqi people see the benefits of tyranny.
On the other hand, while pleased by this choice of government by the Iraqi people, the election of "Baghdad Bob" as President caught Washington completely by suprise being that Bob was well known for his outrageous claims during Operation Iraqi Freedom. But as Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld pointed out earlier this week, "It was up to the people of Iraq to decide who should lead their country, and that`s just what they did, so we wash our hands of it and lets just leave it at that. It`s better than who was leading Iraq last time." Meanwhile outside protesters were blocking traffic again shouting slogans against US imperialism.
What was most suprising though was when the new Iraqi President made a phone call to of all people former US President Bill Clinton for some advice in regards to "technique" when dealing with a now free press."I am a big fan" said the Iraqi President, "and I always looked up to you as a role model." Clinton flattered, not only gave advice, but he also agreed to travel to Baghdad to personally give BB some pointers. Appearing last week on Larry King live, Clinton had this to say of Baghdad Bob, "He`s good, I`ll give him that. He`s got a lot of talent and nerve, and a good outlook, but he`s still a little rough around the edges and there`s a lot I can show him to smooth him out, bring out the fine qualities that any Democrat would be proud to have as a leader." When Larry croaked, "Whaaat do you mean?" Clinton replied, "His deflection techniques for one thing could use some work. There`s the possibility that a vast muslim wing conspiracy could try to unsurp his power by questioning his mental stability during Operation Iraqi freedom, so I`m going to teach him the boundless limits of linguistic definitive structures for a start. For example when Bob said "The American infidels hold no place in Iraq, this is an illusion" he should have put more emphasis on the word "is" because it all depends on what the the definition of the word "is" is. This is an illusion is quite different from this is an illusion." "Yes yes", said Larry as he listened intently to the master.
Day one was met with the usual formalities as Bob met up with Clinton in the now rebuilt palace of former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. It was there that they went right to work while the Clinton sat on the sidelines and critiqued Bobs answering techniques from a mock group of reporters. When one reporter inquired about why Bob made the ridiculous statement that "American troops were commiting suicide at the walls of Baghdad" when it was quite obvious they were not, Bob replied "They -are-is-too." Clinton told Bob to stop right there, that his technique was on the mark in that he did not admit to deception, but he made the mistake of "leaving the door open" so to speak in that it did not "finalize" the exchange. It was then that the master arose to to demonstrate.
As Bob watched in amazement, Clinton asked the reporter to ask the same question again, only this time Clinton himself would answer. The reporter complied and went ahead, "Mr. President, why did you make the ridiculous statement that American troops were commiting suicide at the walls of Baghdad when it was obvious they were not?" Clinton biting his lip, raised his hand in the patent Elvis manner that conveyed power, then began speaking showing his world renowned expertise at expert deflection with the form style of the non answer while making it feel like an answer by syllable emphasis and expertly timed tone fluctuation, "I did not say that! What I said was that they were commiting suicide at the walls of Baghdad, or didn`t you hear me?" A look of confusion crossed the reporters face as the master immediately said "Next question" pointing at another reporter. Clinton insisted that Bob try again. Bob walked to the podium as a smile crossed his face as he now understood the technique a bit more and with renewed confidence told the reporter to ask him the same question again.
The reporter shook his head, sighed then asked "Why did you make the ridiculous statement that American troops were commiting suicide at the walls of Baghdad when it was obvious they were not?" Bob, putting his glasses on for emphasis raised his hand up in the Elvis manner as taught and said," "I did not say that! What I said was that they were commiting suicide at the walls of Baghdad, or didn`t you hear me? Next question" "Yes yes!!!" replied Clinton as he rose. "Now you`ve got it, very good". As the day progressed Bob was showing fine form as he deflected question after question from the press like a pro. "Bill Clinton is the master and it`s amazing what people will take as an answer. I can never thank him enough!"
President Gore closer to finding 911 terrorists BY MAUREEN DOWD NEW YORK - Although it`s only been almost two years since 911, President Al Gore today said that the US is getting closer and closer each day to finding those people responsible for 911. At a news conference today the President was asked about this tremendous progress and if it was possible that those responsible might have been in the planes when they crashed on Sept 11th. President Gore said that it was possible but it`s not quite probable yet if they were they only ones responsible. When asked if it was possible that those responsible might possibly be in Afghanistan as part of the Taliban, the President responded that it was possible that those responsible might be in Afghanistan as part of the Taliban but the US needs to be more responsible before that can be solvable. When asked if it was possible that he meant he was being responsible to remain hospitable to our valuble French allies, the President replied that he was being responsible to remain hospitable to our valuble French allies and he likes the name french fries. Coming back from a fund raiser the President spoke at a fundraiser at a Hasidic community meeting. "I`ve always loved the Coming back from a fundraiser, the President appeared on Oprah last Tuesday which was being taped in Florida, the state that helped him win the election, and talked more in depth about his work for the enviornment. "Our forests are being cut down at an alarming rate, the ozone layer is looking like the bald spot on top of my |
from Dogeggs.com
Listen you maggot, POST YOUR PICTURES!
-Eric
You mean there are flattering candids of her? LOL!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.