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No felony convictions for me. What felonies do you suppose I might have unknowingly commiteed? Give me an example of one of these laws.

Welcome to FFA. No, not Future Farmers of America, that pleasant little relic of the days when America was the land of the free.

I'm talking about Future Felons of America, the club to which millions of us now belong. Our membership is growing by leaps, bounds and midnight kicks on our doors. You may not want to be part of this contemporary American FFA. (Who in their right mind would?) But it's best to face facts; in a country where would-be rulers, elected and unelected, are desperate to regulate every activity, we are all law breakers or soon to become so.

You and I, friends, are likely to end up in prison.

Worse, we're increasingly likely to end up in the custody of the federal prison system. Activities that were once the business of the states-or nobody's business but your own-are being taken over by control freaks in Washington, DC whose favorite masturbatory fantasy is that they can micro-manage every human activity 24 hours a day and punish everyone who deviates from their desires. That means your chances of going to federal prison-or a federal prison camp like the ones described in this book-are getting "better" every day.

Here are just a few of the "crimes" that can already land you in the federal system:

Taking one prescription pill out of its drugstore bottle and carrying it around in a different container. (Just think of all those dangerous, blue-haired old lady felons lurking in your neighborhood with pills stashed in daily-dose containers from their local Wal-Mart!)
Making a mistake on an Environmental Protection Agency reporting form-even if everyone agrees it was just a mistake and that no pollution was involved.
Driving past a school with an otherwise perfectly legal gun in your car-even driving a block away from a school you didn't know was there!
Manufacturing or selling a container that someone might use to store illegal drugs. (Kinda makes you wonder why Wal-Mart doesn't get busted for selling "drug paraphernalia" to those blue-haired ladies, doesn't it?)
Digging dinosaur bones if you're not a university professor or government employee.
Putting a picture of a naked lady on a wine bottle label (unless an ATF agent decides it's "art," which automatically makes it okay).
Sitting in the car while an acquaintance goes into a house to do a drug deal.

This last one comes under the heading of "conspiracy." And conspiracy is one of a raft of ill-defined "crimes" the feds are using as a catch-all for anyone they want to bag. In addition to "conspiring" by doing nothing, you might be accused of "violating someone's civil rights" by punching him in the nose or "participating in organized criminal activity" just for talking about the wrong subject or being in the wrong place with the wrong people.

What organized criminal activity does this latter charge refer to? Don't ask. If the government had an actual crime-like murder or robbery-to charge you with, believe me, they would. "Participating in organized criminal activity" simply means you've gotten together with your buddies and done something a bureaucrat doesn't like.

The feds can always find you guilty of something. If they want to.

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"Taking one prescription pill out of its drugstore bottle and carrying it around in a different container. (Just think of all those dangerous, blue-haired old lady felons lurking in your neighborhood with pills stashed in daily-dose containers from their local Wal-Mart!)
Making a mistake on an Environmental Protection Agency reporting form-even if everyone agrees it was just a mistake and that no pollution was involved.
Driving past a school with an otherwise perfectly legal gun in your car-even driving a block away from a school you didn't know was there!
Manufacturing or selling a container that someone might use to store illegal drugs. (Kinda makes you wonder why Wal-Mart doesn't get busted for selling "drug paraphernalia" to those blue-haired ladies, doesn't it?)
Digging dinosaur bones if you're not a university professor or government employee.
Putting a picture of a naked lady on a wine bottle label (unless an ATF agent decides it's "art," which automatically makes it okay).
Sitting in the car while an acquaintance goes into a house to do a drug deal.
"

Nonsense. You're not going to jail, as long as you have a prescription for that medication. Your pharmacist can supply a copy, and you can even carry it with you if you wish. This one's bogus.

I don't fill out any such forms for the EPA. Can you supply a single instance where someone is in prison for accidentally making a mistake on such a form?

I don't carry firearms in my automobile, except when going hunting. My route to the places I hunt does not take me near any schools. Again, show me one case where someone who was driving with a firearm legally stowed or with a CCW permit has gone to jail merely for driving near a school.

I don't make containers for illegal drugs. I don't make containers of any kind. And nobody's busting the WalMarts or the manufacturers of your daily dose packs. Again, as in the first example, your example is purely bogus.

I don't dig dinosaur bones, and don't know anyone who does. Not a serious deal, really. If it's against the law, don't do it. What is your loss?

Naked ladies on wine bottles? I don't make or bottle wine. If I did, I wouldn't put naked women on the bottles. Everything about the labels on alcoholic beverages is subject to ATF regulations, if I remember correctly. Why would anyone flout them?

I don't have any friends who do drug deals. Do you? How does this affect me?

You've offered up a bunch of supposed ways the average person could be convicted of a felony. Except for the one about prescription drugs outside of the original bottle, most apply to almost nobody. Unless you can come up with some case where someone was arrested and convicted for that daily dose thing, I'll consider your list to be bogus.

I don't commit felonies.