We are white, and adoped a mixed-race boy about seven years ago. I still remember to this day, that I had to go to a seminar for prospective adoptive and foster parents. That stupid social worker stood up there and told us we
HAD to have empathy for the birth parents, because they are suffering the loss of their child. I was about ready to scream, but you have to "play their game" if you want to adopt.
BTW, fortunately our social worker had some brains. We were a Christian, homeschooling family, and never got a bit of flack for it.
We have also been on the "other side" of the issue, when our adopted son, who has some emotional problems, made a comment at school to the school counselor. Social services were called. THAT was one of the most stressful weeks of my life. Again, we had a social worker with some common sense. She saw the situation for what it was, and promptly closed the case.
You've been lucky. Having known hundreds of social workers, I can count on two fingers those who had common sense. And they were't much better than the ones who didn't.