Posted on 04/21/2003 7:59:23 AM PDT by doc30
Poor Margaret Atwood.
Here she is, not only Canada's best-known writer but the most visible of the many Canadian critics of the War on Iraq, and she has to choose this month to release a new novel.
She might not care to hear Oryx and Crake tagged a "product," but that's the word the entertainment industry uses -- and, as of this past weekend, we now know America wants as little as possible to do with Canadian products.
According to a new survey by Fleishman-Hillard Canada and Wirthlin Worldwide, 48 per cent of Americans now say they are "very likely" or "somewhat likely" to turn their backs on anything that comes from France, Germany and Canada in favour of an alternative from any of the U.S.-led coalition of some 40-odd nations.
This would include, we have to presume, Atwood's new novel as well as a boycott on any future edition of the Canadian-invented Trivial Pursuit that might ask players to name more than three members (United States, Britain, Australia) of that coalition.
Such an anti-Canadian backlash is difficult to grasp by this particular Canadian, having just spent a month travelling through the United States and encountered only one American with a bone to pick with Canada -- and that a woman so peeved with the Montreal hockey-game booing of the American anthem that she regretted naming her dog Jacques.
Yet, according to this most recent survey, the American resolve is hardening, with 15 per cent saying they've already moved to eliminate such French products as wine and cheese.
As well, 8 per cent say they've substituted for Canadian products -- but had a more difficult time naming any actual Canadian products. About 79 per cent knew that Canadian Club whisky might be Canadian -- raising intriguing questions about the remaining 21 per cent -- but after a specific brand of whisky and perhaps maple syrup, they were pretty much lost when it came to Canada.
It's hard to have a boycott when you don't know what you're supposed to turn your back on.
We therefore offer up, free of charge, a handy list for quick reference:
Lay down your cell phones. Canadians brag endlessly about Alexander Graham Bell inventing the telephone in Brantford, Ont., so Americans could not only take a little revenge but make movies more enjoyable and highways safer at the same time.
Switch off the playoffs. Both professional hockey and pro basketball are winding up their endless seasons. A Canadian, James Naismith, invented basketball. No one knows who invented hockey or even where the first game was played -- but it's pretty much a given it wasn't the Mighty Ducks in Anaheim, California.
Start sleeping in. The only reason West Coast day traders rise at dawn to dump their high-tech mistakes is because some Canadian, Sir Sanford Fleming, invented time zones way back before there were even digital clocks to tell us what time it is. No way a Canadian clock should rule American lives.
No more laughing. The only funny people still hanging around Hollywood these days are Canadians like Jim Carrey, Mike Myers and assorted Second City and Saturday Night Live graduates, so switch off the national laugh track and see how funny Canadians find that.
No more divas. Celine Dion, Shania Twain, Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morissette, Diana Krall, Nelly Furtado, Avril Lavigne all have one more thing in common than high Billboard charts -- they're all Canadian. Tune them out and give Cher and Madonna a chance to come all the way back.
Turn off the radio. Talk radio may be the main comfort zone of the Bush administration, but how many Americans realize it was a Canadian, Reginald Fessenden of East Bolton, Que., who is the true father of the radio (Marconi came later) and another Canadian, Ted Rogers, who came up with the vacuum tube that put a radio in every kitchen? Rush Limbaugh would understand.
Stop travelling. There wouldn't be Caribbean cruises if a Canadian had never come up with the screw propeller. Going back to wind would be a severe blow to Canadian self-worth. A Canadian also came up with variable pitch for propellers, but what's the use of killing air travel when it's already dead anyway?
Quit drinking. That Canadian whisky label is only the beginning. Not only are the best beers sold in the United States from Canada, but it was a Canadian who invented the tuck-away beer case handle that made long weekends possible. Put an end to it.
Stop taking out the garbage. The Man from Glad might look American, but the truth of plastic garbage bag lies in a handy little device that Harry Wasylyk and Larry Hansen came up with a half century ago for the Winnipeg General Hospital.
Canada thinks the United States won't raise much of a stink?
Just let 'em wait a couple of weeks.
I THINK a Connecticutt Guinness branch imports Bass to the US.
One of my favorite Lagers is from there. Leninenkugels - Chippewa Falls.
When Andrew Wiles proved Fermat's Last Theorem, a British mathematician expressed pride that he was an Englishman working in the US. The American mathematician expressed pride that he was an Englishman working in the US.
Never been to Quebec, going to stay that way too.
I wonder how many Michiganders are going up North instead of Canada this year.
I never had Great Lakes suprisingly. Mackinac Pale Ale is excellent and is in Webberville about 25 miles West of where I'm at along my commute. Sometimes I stop there on the way.
Don't have any immediate answers to your question re: sweetheart Clintton deals, but I will offer this:
All efforts to impede domestic production can only HELP Canadian eports of oil, natural gas, etc.
On the good news side, even though Clintoon reliance on enviros to impede US production, which then HELPED Canadian exporters, Canadian gas storage figures are at an all time low, their "Vaunted, Elite" Ladyfern natural gas field is declining faster than soddom's gene pool. That field alone (discovered during Clintoon years) was supposed to raise Canadian imports of natural gas by some 5%. That ain't gonna happen and I've recently seen reports that predict a 3-5% DECLINE in Canadian natural gas imports this year.
This is somewhat of a double edged sword however, as many US companies are involved in Canadian exploration. I'll keep looking for a Clintton sweetheart deal....my initial guess would be that we might find one in the lumber industry as I don't think they are as draconian as our enviros have forced our regulations to be on our timber industry.
If you like scenery, you can't beat North MI, especially the Mackinac area. There's a reason Michiganders always talk about "up North". Just watch out for the deer.
Traverse City/Leelanau/Boyne/Petoskey is also a great area along Lake Michigan.
Thay, my FRiend, would be the motherlode, the smoking gun used to destroy the enviro/whackos, the Clintoon DNA all over the destruction of America, etc., etc.
Producers in the Powder River coalbed methane play have already published a list in the Caspar, Sheridan and Gillette papers, of funding sources for all the "so-called local" enviro/whacko groups......and as I recall it, the trails all lead out of wyoming to Club Sierra, Natural Res. Defense Council, etc.
THat is a very good question that continues to perplex Canadians. I can speak from experience that Canada is not an economically friendly place for achievers. That's why so many educated Canadians move to the U.S. In the States, it is much easier to find work and the pay is significantly higher. Also, the oppressive taxation in Canada makes the U.S. a more fertile place to do business. Socialism is so strong that if you do well financially, you are looked down upon. Friends of mine who are achievers have been told not to work so hard because it makes everyone else look bad. I know this because I am an escapee from the Peoples' Republic of Canuckistan.
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