"Washy," as he was called by the Washington's, admired the young Lee and even enlisted his help to build the new family tomb at Mount Vernon (the one where visitors go to pay final respects to General and Mrs. Washington). So, it is not out of the realm of possibility that he made provisions for Lee to have more legal control than was normally accorded to a son-in-law. Or, furthermore, how do you know that his wife did not give him permission (whether or not it was his idea) and he or his attorney simply carried out the necessary legal action at the courthouse? Given Lee's respect for law and authority I find it hard to accept your accusation without question.
Besides, in those days there was the law and then there was what was commonly practised. The law forbade slaves from being taught to read and write. However, that did not prevent Washington, Jefferson, and countless others from doing so because it was practical to have some slaves that could keep records of blacksmithing activities, supplies and provisions, etc.
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