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3 little kids behind one layer of sheetrock 30 feet downrange from the bedroom door. A shot through the open bedroom door is heading for the kid's room.

With time, would go to the kid's room and defend there. May not have time, though.

No possible chance ever under any circumstances I would try to clear the house alone, unless a kid were missing-so, the plan is defense from a fixed point.

Already have the dog.

Might I suggest a "redoubt?" This is a single room - usually the bedroom - that has a strengthened door and is accessible to everyone on a minute's notice. Teach the kids to go there in an emergency.

In this room you have your firearm, ammunition, and a cellphone. (A regular phone works fine until the wires are cut). If you think you have trouble, gather the clan, lock the door (a steel-frame door with a deadbolt works best, but NOT one of those hollow-core pieces of trash that are your usual interior door), call the cops, chamber a round, and wait for help. Teach your wife to respond this way. Drill the kids.

I strongly do not recommend clearing a house on your own - the SWAT guys certainly don't do that. And above all, no warning shots. If you have to pull the trigger the situation is already in extremis and you're only wasting ammunition.

3 little kids behind one layer of sheetrock 30 feet downrange from the bedroom door. A shot through the open bedroom door is heading for the kid's room.

You might want to think about adding a layer of really tough panelling to that wall, if that's the case. Or pour concrete between the studs (only half kidding).

I'm going to throw one that hasn't been mentioned by anyone else. AR-15 preferred 1-12 rifling loaded with 55 grain loads. The sheet rock will caused the bullet to start tumbling and if it is not already get the wall to the kids rooms filled with insulation. The police have found that this load in most cases will not penetrate 2 layers of sheet rock with insulation between, normal wall.

First weapon I would suggest a 4-6” .357 mag loaded with magsafe ammo if neither you or your wife are use to semi autos, less to go wrong with them. also at least 3 speed loaders.

Quite a few are talking about shotguns but there are a few myths with them.
1. You can’t miss. Standard shot spread is 1” per yard.
2. It will not penetrate the walls. Try this one some time on your own.
On the plus side. You shoot someone with a normal shotgun and you come off in court looking better. This doesn’t work as well with a police/military style.