Schools Ban Childish Behavior, But Are They Going Too Far? -- The 'Re-Engineered' Child

The Wall Street Journal ^ | Tuesday, April 8, 2003 | ANDREA PETERSEN

[widowithfoursons]

And California is laying off 20% of its teachers due to budget crunch. Most of these kids are laughing up their sleeves at these moron's indoctrination tactics. Kids will manage just fine, thank you, without the psychobabble BS. Gee, wonder if maybe the time could be better spent with students reading (aloud) from a good book during this classroom time? Oh yeah, if they learn to read they might discover they are being shortchanged by the adults who should be educating them.

[2nd amendment mama]

Soooooo true! Teach the kids to read? Why then they'll find out how truly stupid the teachers are.....lol

[boris]

Being an outcast was good for me. That, and hiding from my evil stepfather (sent from Central Casting as a dead ringer for the ones in Grimm's Fairy Tales) educated me and taught me to educate myself. Hiding, I read like a maniac.

So its not all bad, and every cloud has a silver lining.

Now I make 3 times what the bullies who tortured me make.

Still, may I have a time machine to go back and file a lawsuit against the schoolyard bullies?

--Boris, the geek

[CatoRenasci]

This is ridiculous, and shows the incessant feminization of the schools: boys expectd to behave like the stereotype of good little girls.

Far more dangerous, in my view, is the dilution of authority and responsibility this engenders: if you are punished for every silly infraction, it diminishes the value of punishment generally, it you're going to get in trouble and be sent to the principal for calling little Johnny a "nerd" you might as wel punch his lights out.

It also means that as you are responsible for more, you take the responsibility less seriously: punishment and trips to the principal should be saved for serious misbehavior, with a real in terroram effect.

[boris]

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired.

The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth.

And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say come dance with me
and murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems
At seventeen.

A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
said, 'Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve'.

The rich relationed hometown queen
Married into what she needs
A guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly.

Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
Indebentures of quality
And dubious integrity.

Their small town eyes will gape at you
in dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received
At seventeen.

To those of us who know the pain
Of valentines that never came,
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball.

It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me.

We all play the game and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say, come dance with me
and murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me
At seventeen

[Lady Eileen]

bump

[tutstar]

ping

[jjm2111]

Coming from someone who was mercilessly teased in both grammar school and high school (it was the glasses, high-waters, and a decided absence of any hand-eye coordination.), this stuff is a load of crap.

It's easy do deal with bullies. Suspend and/or expel incorrigble bullies and allow the kids getting picked on to defend themselves. Getting all worked up over dirtly looks and the occasional comment is silly. We are over medicating and over therapizing our kids.

A new employee who is just out of college takes even the gentlest criticism as being "mean". How is she going to take the screaming and cursing VP? Life throws fast balls and too many schools are trying to keep kids an a tee ball world forever. If you can't brush off a dirty look how are you going to handle getting fired, going bankrupt, or the client who tells you, "Eat shit and die!"?

[Hermann the Cherusker]

As we are rediscovering in Iraq, violence CAN be a solution. Let the kids turn to fisticuffs and the parents and schools to spanking, like we used to do ...

[jjm2111]

"I feel like I want to beat the snot out of you!"

"I feel you're going to look like small blob of unidentifiable goo in one minute."

"I feel like giving you a bloody nose!"

[Andiceman]

So if some kid wants to spend his recess sitting under a tree reading a book (or, God forbid, the Bible--pun intended) rather than to play in the mud, it is a bad thing? Gee, I guess I would be better off if I had done that.

[jjm2111]

"Far more dangerous, in my view, is the dilution of authority and responsibility this engenders: if you are punished for every silly infraction, it diminishes the value of punishment generally, it you're going to get in trouble and be sent to the principal for calling little Johnny a "nerd" you might as wel punch his lights out. "

Very good point. And hey, stop call me a nerd! :)

[jjm2111]

do = to.

[dark_lord]

When I went to school there was no such thing as a "school psychologist" and we didn't have half the problems in school that they have today.

Back in 1964 there was a school psychologist in my elementary school. Guess we were modern way back when! We had a speech therepist also. I had personal experience with that because I stuttered a bit as a kid. But the speech therepist fixed whatever needed fixing because by 3rd grade I no longer stuttered.

[Rytwyng]

As a high-IQ "nerd" who was ruthlessly tormented throughout my grade-school years, I used to long to see some kind of a solution to this horrible schoolyard bullying problem. When, in the wake of the Columbine massacre, we finally had a national discussion about the issue, I at first rejoiced -- it was 20 years too late to help me,but I thought some good would come out of it.

Oops. The "cure" that these liberal psychotherapy types are proposing, is FAR WORSE than the disease. This part really scares me: "She teaches them to act when they see kids playing by themselves. "It is not normal to have a child that doesn't want to join in activities" Who the hell is she to make that judgement? What if a smart kid finds the activities of their "normal" peers to be boring? What if there's nothing wrong with him -- he just has different interests? This type of "teacher persecution" has the potential to be far more damaging, than anything peers could do. If teachers BECOME the bullies, how is that an improvement?

I'd rather go through the bullying all over again, than be subject to this totalitarianism. It's beginning to look as though the best possible response to bullying really is the one that I came up with on my own -- lift weights and start hitting back. After all, it worked.

[Rytwyng]

Even worse: "students can fill out a "Request for Assistance" report when they see another child pushing, gossiping or "ostracizing." If a child is caught bullying a third time, the class determines a punishment that can include Saturday detention or eating lunch alone for a week."

I GUARANTEE you, that this will be abused. The REAL bullies (generally class ringleaders) will act in collusion, and file false reports to give the innocent "nerds" Saturday detention, etc. It's a recipe for more school shootings.

[Marie]

The thing that alarms me is that they are short-circuting kids' natural "alarms". "Something is 'off' about this person. I need to stay away." Teaching kids that they have to play with everyone tells them that their inner danger signals are wrong.

Bullies should be punnished and their behavior should not be tollerated, but children should not be forced into relationships that they don't want. I know that my "radar" has saved me more times than I can count and I've regretted ignoring it every time.

[Constitutionalist Conservative]

As a result, that little kid on the sidelines now looks like a depressed adult in the making, or even a ticking time bomb. In Louisiana, Laura Harper of the local American Federation of Teachers office holds nine-day workshops for recess monitors, cafeteria workers and bus drivers. She teaches them to act when they see kids playing by themselves. "It is not normal to have a child that doesn't want to join in activities," says Ms. Harper. "If the antisocial behavior doesn't stop, we need to get that child to a counselor. They can become suicidal."

Oh... was I supposed to have killed myself by now? Dang, can't even do that right.

Ms. Harper apparently had no imagination when she was a little girl. I was mildly antisocial back then. One of my favorite activities was to climb up in a tree and daydream for an hour or two. In due time, I would climb (or jump) back down and go play with my friends.

I had no idea that was A Bad Thing.

[Constitutionalist Conservative]

At St. Thomas More school in Spokane, Wash., students can fill out a "Request for Assistance" report when they see another child pushing, gossiping or "ostracizing." If a child is caught bullying a third time, the class determines a punishment that can include Saturday detention or eating lunch alone for a week.

Aha! The penalty for ostracizing is... ostracizing?

[Carolinamom]

The schools should start by getting rid of childish teachers.