Exactly.
But did you notice that this is a taboo topic? After the Colombine massacre, I could learn, despite my aversion to this emptiness, the caliber of pistols, trajectories of bullets, the music students liked --- anything but a single insight into their family. What family does it take for the parents not to notice a cache of weapons in the child's bedroom?
I guess, it is the instinct of self-protection. The "boomers," most self-centered generation in our history, has legiticmized the betrayal of parental duty. The newspaper writers and newscasters do not want to go "there," lest they themselves be asked. Much like the Germans after the WWII and the Russians today avoid asking, "What where you doing when..." I don't ask you, you don't ask me.
Interestingly, yours was the single most interesting point for me that made me read through. And this is the point --- parenting -- that was described the least.
She sounds more like a fascist than an idealist. She'd have fit right in with Hitler's youths.