Iraqi Info Minister Threatens Press With Heat Vision

Command Post ^

[DED]

Iraqi Info Minister Threatens Press With Heat Vision Coalition Leaders Targeted With "Mighty Feces"

Early today, coalition cruise missiles slammed into Baghdad’s Ministry of Information. Coalition sources claim the building sustained tremendous damage. However, Iraqi Minister of Information Saeed al-Sahaf, pictured below, denies the claim and asserts that Iraqi engineers diverted the missiles to Washington, where they leveled the White House, two reform synagogues, and a store selling Honey-Baked Ham.

Al-Sahaf: "Invasion? What invasion?"

"Verily," said al-Sahaf, "Allah has smitten the head of the great serpent, and bloody great boils shall arise on its hindparts. The infidels shall taste the dung of misbegotten goats, and their leaders shall wallow face-down in our mighty feces. They laugh with the tongues of hyenas, but soon the venom of scorpions shall swell their miserable bollocks."

Asked to clarify his remarks for the rubes, al-Sahaf stated that there were no American troops on Iraqi soil, but that he had crossed into Kuwait on a magic carpet and personally killed two thousand Marines with a Swiss Army knife.

When pressed for details, al-Sahaf stormed away from the podium and threatened to melt the assembled press with his heat vision.

[DED]

If you listened to the Iraqi Minister of Information speak on Thursday, you'd know this isn't far off. He actually stated that we were NOT nearing Baghdad, that we were in fact retreating, and that we were 'trapped' in Baghdad, Nasirif, and Basrah.

[Sir Gawain]

Iraq Seizes Control Of Entire U.S. Military

[FryingPan101]

"Verily," said al-Sahaf, "Allah has smitten the head of the great serpent, and bloody great boils shall arise on its hindparts. The infidels shall taste the dung of misbegotten goats, and their leaders shall wallow face-down in our mighty feces. They laugh with the tongues of hyenas, but soon the venom of scorpions shall swell their miserable bollocks."

the dung of misbegotten goats, huh? Throw a little pig's oil on that mess.

[Guillermo]

The Glorious Iraqi Army has defeated the stupid Americans outside of Um-Qasr.

The brave Iraqi freedom fighters have destroyed the evil American agressors outside of Al-Basra.

The god-fearing Iraqi holy warriors smote the Yankee imperialist running dogs of the Zionist host outside of Al-Nassariya.

Two simple patriotic Iraqi farmers destroyed 12,000 infidel tanks outside of Karabala, with pitchforks, a roll of ductape, and a healthy dose of divine providence.

The Al-Quds division of the Republican Gaurd has slaughtered 25 million of the evil American swine on the outskirts of Baghdad, chasing them into full retreat.

Final victory, the liberation of Al-Quds from the evil Zionist aggressors, is at hand.

(With so many Iraqi victories, its a marvel we even had a chance.)

[WIladyconservative]

He actually stated that we were NOT nearing Baghdad, that we were in fact retreating, and that we were 'trapped' in Baghdad, Nasirif, and Basrah.

It was a virtuoso performance. I personally think he's got his eye on an Emmy!

[Leatherneck_MT]

Yeah, listening to this clown on his press briefings is like watching a really REALLY bad Monty Python movie.


Semper Fi

[w_over_w]

Best quote I've heard . . .

" . . . we fought through the night and finally came upon the airport. It was deserted and seemed eerie. As the Sun came up it stirred all these Iraqi soldiers who just looked at us as if to say 'where did all these Americans come from?'"

Col. Wiley Grimsley, 3rd Inft., 1st Bat.

[martin_fierro]

"Invasion? What invasion?"

LOL

[par4]

Sorry, but there's no such thing as a really bad Monty Python movie. This nitwit is doing a good parody of the black knight in Holy Grail:

Tis merely a scratch......

Next, he'll pull out the holy hand grenade and then the troops are in deep trouble.

[APBaer]

"Next, he'll pull out the holy hand grenade,
and then the troops are in deep trouble."

Deep trouble, more like Holy Shiite!

[Leatherneck_MT]

Ok point conceded :)