Takoma the dolphin is Awol

timesonline (UK) ^ | 3/29/03 | Daniel McGrory

[Rebelbase]

THE US Marines have suffered an embarrassment with reports last night that one of their most prized investigators may have defected.

Takoma, the Atlantic bottle-nosed dolphin, had been in Iraq for 48 hours when he went missing on his first operation to snoop out mines.

His handler, Petty Officer Taylor Whitaker, had proudly showed off Takoma’s skills and told how the 22-year-old dolphin was among the most pampered creatures in the American military.

Takoma and his fellow mine hunters have a special diet, regular medical checks and their own sleeping quarters, which is more than can be said for the vast majority of the military whose domestic arrangements are basic, to say the least.

The wayward Takoma set out on the first mission with his comrade, Makai, watched by the cameras as the pair of dolphins somersaulted over the inflatable dinghy carrying their handlers.

Takoma’s role was to sweep the way clear for the arrival of the Royal Fleet Auxiliary, Sir Galahad. US officials had said that dolphins, first used in Vietnam, were a far better bet than all the technology on board the flotilla of ships.

Petty Officer Whitaker had tempted fate by saying: “Why would they go missing when they have the best food and daily spruce-ups and health checks?” Two hours later Takoma had gone Awol. “Twenty-four hours is not unusual,” a nervous Petty Officer Whitaker said. “After all, he may meet some local company.”

Takoma has now been missing for 48 hours and the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response.

[tgslTakoma]

Ya'know... they should have given it a different name. Everybody knows that - other than me and my family, and Raoul Deming, 44 - every living thing in Takoma Park is against the war.

Hmmmmm, that may explain why they named it Takoma, as a backhanded swipe at the lefties that populate my hometown - "Takoma the pro-war dolphin". Unfortunately it seems, the lefties in Takoma Park got to "Takoma." Maybe Takoma got tired of swimming against the anti-war tide. Maybe Jamie Raskin explained to Takoma his rights as a world citizen, or something.

I'm saddened, deeply saddened.

[ewing]

[tgslTakoma]

I just got back from checking the length of Sligo Creek and Longbranch creek, with nary a sign of Takoma. So I guess that leaves Sean Hannity's screener, Flipper, off the suspect list for having released Takoma in the wilds of Takoma Park.

Will check Rock Creek and Northwest Branch next.

[ewing]

[CheneyChick]

ROFL! Good one, ewing!

[ewing]

[sweetliberty]

Humor break...kinda.

[geedee]

You know how those Marines are when they pull into port and are unleashed on willing maidens.

[ewing]

That one is a classic.

[sweetliberty]

" less talk and more action would be nice. we should just be quiet and do the damn mission!!!"

I have to agree with that, but this is the other side of having journalists on every front. They don't know when to report something and when to shut the h*ll up!

[ewing]

[sweetliberty]

ROTFL!!!!! Too much! I really needed a laugh. This thread is great.

[two23]

A Sighting!

[sweetliberty]

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

[ewing]

Takoma has been assigned to Special Ops..

[ewing]

[ErnBatavia]

Hint to handler: check to see if there are any tuna fishermen in the Gulf.

[ErnBatavia]

A girl in every port?

[ewing]

[ewing]

Now we know where Saddam has been..trying to catch poor Takoma!!