Takoma the dolphin is Awol

timesonline (UK) ^ | 3/29/03 | Daniel McGrory

[Rebelbase]

THE US Marines have suffered an embarrassment with reports last night that one of their most prized investigators may have defected.

Takoma, the Atlantic bottle-nosed dolphin, had been in Iraq for 48 hours when he went missing on his first operation to snoop out mines.

His handler, Petty Officer Taylor Whitaker, had proudly showed off Takoma’s skills and told how the 22-year-old dolphin was among the most pampered creatures in the American military.

Takoma and his fellow mine hunters have a special diet, regular medical checks and their own sleeping quarters, which is more than can be said for the vast majority of the military whose domestic arrangements are basic, to say the least.

The wayward Takoma set out on the first mission with his comrade, Makai, watched by the cameras as the pair of dolphins somersaulted over the inflatable dinghy carrying their handlers.

Takoma’s role was to sweep the way clear for the arrival of the Royal Fleet Auxiliary, Sir Galahad. US officials had said that dolphins, first used in Vietnam, were a far better bet than all the technology on board the flotilla of ships.

Petty Officer Whitaker had tempted fate by saying: “Why would they go missing when they have the best food and daily spruce-ups and health checks?” Two hours later Takoma had gone Awol. “Twenty-four hours is not unusual,” a nervous Petty Officer Whitaker said. “After all, he may meet some local company.”

Takoma has now been missing for 48 hours and the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response.

[Minty]

you are too much.That is a funny picture!

[irish guard]

He prolly saw some she dolphin wearing a thong, delivering him pizza and decided on a little oral sex and a cigar!

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

I have seen it debunked, but I think Rush still stands behind the story as accurate.

[Rebelbase]

I think these are the guys that are responsible for a huge portion of the funny photoshopped stuff on the net.

Fark.com

Look for the Photoshop logos in the thread list. I even think they are the ones who created the tourist guy standing on top of the WTC.

[ewing]

Happens every time, some seductive Arabian Persian Gulf Bottle Neck dolphin starts reading Takoma an autographed copy of 'Leaves of Grass' and suddenly AWOL/ MIA for 48 hours..

[small voice in the wilderness]

Yep. I fear he hasn't thought of the dangers, though...I speak of Arabian Tuna Fishermen...not bound by the "Dolphin-Free Tuna" labels on their cans...

[irish guard]

And you and I both know darn well that Takoma has some bitch of a bottlenose wife, with really fat flippers at home who wants all the glory for herself....

[faithincowboys]

probably got killed by the iraqis. when you tell people you're using a given asset, sometimes the asset gets neutralized. less talk and more action would be nice. we should just be quiet and do the damn mission!!!

[ewing]

[ewing]

[united1000]

Is that the wayward dolphin?

[Charles Henrickson]

He didn't do it on porpoise.

[ewing]

[ewing]

[rabidralph]

You know anything about this?

[ewing]

R& R Time..

[rabidralph]

The usually-reliable Times isn't much better at getting the the services straight than our own service-ignorant press. The fish belongs to the US Navy, as one who did not know might still infer from the rank of its handler.

And if that's the original headline, they should be aware that Navy people go UA (unauthorized absence), not AWOL.

[leadpenny]

Beat me to it, rr. I just got through the whole thread to see if I could say the same thing to the same FReeper.


What about Takoma, you seen anything?

[ewing]

[Nea Wood]

This is the funniest thread I've seen in a while! Thanks for the laughs, all o' ya's!