Takoma the dolphin is Awol

timesonline (UK) ^ | 3/29/03 | Daniel McGrory

[Rebelbase]

THE US Marines have suffered an embarrassment with reports last night that one of their most prized investigators may have defected.

Takoma, the Atlantic bottle-nosed dolphin, had been in Iraq for 48 hours when he went missing on his first operation to snoop out mines.

His handler, Petty Officer Taylor Whitaker, had proudly showed off Takoma’s skills and told how the 22-year-old dolphin was among the most pampered creatures in the American military.

Takoma and his fellow mine hunters have a special diet, regular medical checks and their own sleeping quarters, which is more than can be said for the vast majority of the military whose domestic arrangements are basic, to say the least.

The wayward Takoma set out on the first mission with his comrade, Makai, watched by the cameras as the pair of dolphins somersaulted over the inflatable dinghy carrying their handlers.

Takoma’s role was to sweep the way clear for the arrival of the Royal Fleet Auxiliary, Sir Galahad. US officials had said that dolphins, first used in Vietnam, were a far better bet than all the technology on board the flotilla of ships.

Petty Officer Whitaker had tempted fate by saying: “Why would they go missing when they have the best food and daily spruce-ups and health checks?” Two hours later Takoma had gone Awol. “Twenty-four hours is not unusual,” a nervous Petty Officer Whitaker said. “After all, he may meet some local company.”

Takoma has now been missing for 48 hours and the solitary figure of Petty Officer Whitaker could be seen yesterday patting the water, calling his name and offering his favourite fish, but there was no response.

[Always A Marine]

THE US Marines have suffered an embarrassment with reports last night that one of their most prized investigators may have defected... His handler, Petty Officer Taylor Whitaker...

The usually-reliable Times isn't much better at getting the the services straight than our own service-ignorant press. The fish belongs to the US Navy, as one who did not know might still infer from the rank of its handler. Still, it is a funny story.

This costly episode reminds me of the oil-soaked seal which was rehabilitated at unbelievable expense -- only to be eaten by a killer whale moments after its ceremonious release...

[ewing]

ROFTLOL! Great pic...

[Rebelbase]

"This costly episode reminds me of the oil-soaked seal which was rehabilitated at unbelievable expense -- only to be eaten by a killer whale moments after its ceremonious release..."

I fell for that one too, when I first heard it, but alas, as are most of the good stories, its an Urban Legend.

Never happened.

[Rebelbase]

"This costly episode reminds me of the oil-soaked seal which was rehabilitated at unbelievable expense -- only to be eaten by a killer whale moments after its ceremonious release..."

I fell for that one too, when I first heard it, but alas, as are most of the good stories, its an Urban Legend.

Never happened.

[jwalsh07]

Ah a little R&R. As soon as he spreads his seed a bit, he'll be back with blood shot eyes, a headache and new dedication to the job at hand.

[Rome2000]

[Liebenator]

No I think it did happen, I heard Rush talk about it on the radio the day after it happened. Although my evidence is hearsay I don't think he would have repeated the story unless it was verified.

[MHGinTN]

Sadly, Takoma may be MIA, but don't impugn his dolphanity by calling him AWOL.

[Taffini]

"Al-Flipper and I are just as patriotic as you infidels".



I hear he was requesting a diet change and 5 breaks a day of at least 15 minutes

[musicman]

The dolphin's handlers need to get one of those "ooga-ooga"
horns that Tommy used to use get Flipper's attention when ever he needed to "speak" to him......

[ewing]

Takoma will be back..when we least expect it to turn the tide!

[small voice in the wilderness]

Yeah, but the new tattoo will be there forever.

[musicman]

...gee...now that I think about it,Bud used that horn more
that Tommy...

[gulfcoast6]

Just like a sailor, saw a good looking prospect and took off after her.

[Redcloak]

How long before "Baghdad Bob", the Minister of Information, is showing a dolphin on Iraqi TV claiming that it's Takoma? (Though how he'll segue from a dolphin to insulting Rumsfeld is beyond me.)

[jwalsh07]

A seal on his fin?

[ElisabethInCincy]

The Defense Department is downplaying reports that Takoma had been acting aloof and had recently asked to be called by a new name "Mohammad Al-Flipper".

Capt. Omar Farooq, one of the Defense Department's 14 Muslim chaplins, acknowledged he had been counseling Takoma in recent weeks, but denied involvement in the animal's dissapearance, saying "Al-Flipper and I are just as patriotic as you infidels

OHHHHHH I ALMOST FELL FROM MY CHAIR THAT WAS TOO FUNNY HAHAHAHA LMBO!!!!!!!!!

[Always A Marine]

No I think it did happen, I heard Rush talk about it on the radio the day after it happened. Although my evidence is hearsay I don't think he would have repeated the story unless it was verified.

Nope, Rebelbase is right. Snopes.com lists the seal/killer whale event as a fake news story. Though it didn't happen, it does have the ring of truth, doesn't it?!

[jriemer]

Time to call in the 2nd string

[Rebelbase]

I heard Rush mention it way back when the Exxon Valdez clean-up was happening.