Skip to comments.Star Spangled Ice Cream - Ice Cream with a Conservative Flavor
Posted on 03/29/2003 8:36:33 AM PST by Harvuskong
AT LAST - A CONSERVATIVE ALTERNATIVE TO BEN & JERRY'S
Like millions of your fellow Americans, you enjoy ice cream but do NOT enjoy seeing your money funneled to wacko left-wing causes.
We are not ashamed of America. We think it's the best country ever, and so we have set out to make the best ice cream ever! We asked one of America's premier producers of gourmet ice cream to help us create a line of tantalizing flavors from their award winning recipes, and to spare no expense in the selection of ingredients or preparation process. The result is Star Spangled Ice Cream, an exquisitely delicious hand-crafted super premium ice cream featuring a smoothness, texture and taste you simply cannot find in stores. We invite you to sample it and see for yourself!
And when you serve Star Spangled, you serve your country, because we proudly donate 10 percent of our profits to charities that support the men and women of the US Armed Forces.
I hate the French Vanilla
$76 for 4 quarts of ice cream?! Are you kidding me?
Pretty much sums it up for me.
"Hooray! I have passed your website along to my entire address book (except the one democrat in my family - a hippie aunt who went to college in the 60s - screw her, she can afford Ben & Jerry's). However, my excitement was tempered a bit when I looked at your ingredients. May I humbly suggest a future ice cream without corn syrup. Those of us with severe allergies to corn will not be able to eat your ice cream. It would also annoy Tom Harkin that Iowa corn production would drop. Wait a minute, corn production dropping means Tom 'other people's money' Harkin will just get more pork for Iowa farmers. I guess I am in a no-win situation. Glad to see conservatives making a buck where liberals have dominated. Thanks and lots of good luck!!!" "A novel idea. Just in time for May 2003 and National Military Appreciation Month."
"You are seriously misguided. Promoting hatred and ignorance thru ice cream. Demented is all I can say. There's no way you are for real."
"You can not give the Air Force some thing as wimpy as sherbet! Please come up with something better!"
"The funniest thing about this is that you guys are still just a bunch of bandwagon war profiteers, playing the all American sport of Capitalism! Personally, the more exploitation of the flag I see, the less patriotic I think the company is. Not to mention unimaginative. Good luck, hope all the right wing fascist suckers in America keep you in business."
"Please hurry and get it in stores. I live here in Arkansas and would be proud to rub the noses of these liberal American-hating morons in your product."
"I am very glad to hear about an enterprise such as yours and I hope you find tremendous success."
"I am totally bummed - you guys don't ship to Hawaii!"
"Thank you for expressing your hatred of the French! I believe that 'I Hate the French Vanilla' is a perfect example of the kind of value that true Americans need to express. There is not enough hatred in this world and the French are surely deserving of our hate! I also believe it is incumbent upon all true Americans to support the return of the Statue of Liberty to France. If it is French, we should reject it. We should also reject the legacy of Lafayette. He did help America survive -- and prevail -- in the Revolutionary War. But, Lafayette is French. And Americans hate the French!"
"GREAT JOB with putting this idea together. We NEED humor in a time like this, especially with our oldest son serving as a tank driver in Iraq on the frontlines as we speak. Thank you!"
"I work for Ben & Jerry's. My Dad send me a news clipping about you from the Washington Post and I spread it around at work. I think it is quite funny."
"I have seen some American crap in my time, but this is the best yet!!! Sad, oh so sad, trying to cash in on misplaced nationalism!! This beats 'freedom fries' anyday. No wonder the whole world laughs at you stupid Americans - you are so gullible!! I have no doubt you will sell plenty of this rubbish, given the average IQ of your customers!!"
"When will you go kosher? I have a brother-in-law in the Marines. And believe it our not, there are a bunch of guys in the armed forces who do keep kosher. I would like to get my brother-in-law the 4-pack for a birthday present."
"The four war heroes (WWII, Korea & Vietnam) in our family are deeply offended by your hateful messages and your war profiteering, and remind you that without the aid, money and French soldiers that France gave us, the Brits would have won the Revolutionary War."
"I heard about you guys on the radio last night and decided to check out your website. I just wanted to say that you guys rock! Great idea! Unfortunately for me, the price is out of my range for ice cream, especially when I can get it locally for $5 a gallon. I'm definitely going to try and spread the word and look for you to hit the local stores."
"You as a manufacturer might find it amusing. However, for myself coming from France find it very disrespectful. We are all entitled to our opinions, I agree, but we all have to live with each other. By creating such racist products, you are not uniting but dividing people and nations. I hope that one day you just might realize that you this is not an appropriate marketing technique. Until then... Vive La France!"
"As an employee of Ben & Jerry's, I salute your efforts. I was in the military back in Desert Storm and I must say that I support the troops but not the politics. I also DO NOT full heartily believe in the standings of Ben & Jerry as far as their beliefs about the military. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND HOPE TO SEE YOUR BRAND IN THE MARKET PLACE SOON."
"I am disgusted by your blatant ignorance and outright bigotry. What if you had an ice cream on the market that claimed 'I hate black people' or 'I hate Jews'? This is disgusting. You think putting our POW's on TV is an insult? We are bombing a country and you are making fun of them on an ice cream container. America is a wonderful country, the best place to live, but it is people like yourselves that make me wonder how it has stayed that way."
"You guys rock! I work for Ben & Jerry's and quite a few employees feel the same way. It's nice to see someone give profits to NORMAL deserving charities! America is all about free speech. All the maggots giving you crap probably are Dixie Chix supporters. Are the hilarious pictures on your website like the ones on your packages? I hope so! Keep up the great ideas for flavor names! Semper Fi!!!!!"
"Oh man, this is great. Where were you guys for all this time??? Finally, an American company that actually cares about America, its president, and its troops. God Bless America, and may God bless you guys."
"Do you feel like a tool for promoting this product? After careful consideration, I believe that you should."
"I don't usually eat ice cream, too much sugar. But I think I'll stop by Ben and Jerry's just because I've seen this disgusting site (pun intended)."
"Once again arrogant, stupid conservatives (God, is that a redundancy!) attempt at political humor is lame and disgusting. I'll stick with Ben & Jerry's! F### the war, F### Bush and F### you!!"
More at the link above........
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