If the man performs cunnilingus in the other woman, he will not be charged with sodomy.
Nevertheless, if his wife performs cunnilingus on the other woman, she will be charged with sodomy.
Therefore, you have a case where a married woman and a married man are not being given equal protection under the law.
Quote the law, don't beg.
Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws
If the man performs cunnilingus in the other woman, he will not be charged with sodomy.
Nevertheless, if his wife performs cunnilingus on the other woman, she will be charged with sodomy.
Therefore, you have a case where a married woman and a married man are not being given equal protection under the law.
You are conflating racial and gender differences. For instance, abortion restrictions do not apply to men, do they? If you're pro-life, or at least against partial birth abortion, then you are conceding that certain restrictions apply on the basis of gender. But even beyond the pro-life question. For instance, we prudentially observe that women should not be placed in forward combat units, i.e. the SEALS. Only men are eligible for the draft, etc. We do not discriminate on the basis of race (although there are minor physical differences between the races, i.e. African-Americans are more likely to have sickle-cell anemia), but it is impossible to not do so on the basis of gender. Therefore, your admittedly well constructed analogy ultimately fails.
Women and men are equal before the law in almost all regards, however they cannot be in reproductive issues because of the physical differences between men and women.