I'm sure a couple twinkies and a can of Hershey's chocolate syrup will calm him down.
The only thing less attractive than Moore is his wife. Who, oddly enough, has much smaller breasts than Moore does.
Seriously, Moore is a multi-millionaire who has this schtik that he is some regular guy. Writing this kind of garbage is his job. Pays him well too. Enough that he could at least TRY to do something with those darn breasts of his.