Can't help but laugh about the Seinfeld episode where he made out during Schindler's List and then lied about knowing about the story to his family.
Skip the Oscars and watch John Waters host the Spirit Awards. He's gay, I'm told.
Saw your uncle/cousin/whatever at SAG awards tonight. He was at the "Chicago" table and wore shoes. He was very shiny. I gave him my dessert and said it was from you.