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To: packrat01; Alec Mouhibian
Thanks for the ping packrat, you have the 100, I hope to finish this by ten, I'll be sleeping by 12.

Alec, I'll read this again later, but don't know that I'll have a response.

Learn brevity, make your point like this

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Sir: I accept the nomination tendered me by the Convention over which you presided, and of which I am formally apprized in the letter of yourself and others, acting as a committee of the convention, for that purpose.

The declaration of principles and sentiments, which accompanies your letter, meets my approval; and it shall be my care not to violate, or disregard it, in any part.

Imploring the assistance of Divine Providence, and with due regard to the views and feelings of all who were represented in the convention; to the rights of all the states, and territories, and people of the nation; to the inviolability of the constitution, and the perpetual union, harmony, and prosperity of all, I am most happy to co-operate for the practical success of the principles declared by the convention. Your obliged friend, and fellow citizen

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And eventually you’ll advance to this

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Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived, and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met here on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of it as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But in a larger sense we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled, here, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the living, rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they have, thus far, so nobly carried on. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they here gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom; and that this government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

21 posted on 03/03/2003 5:56:48 PM PST by SJackson
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To: SJackson; etcetera
One thing I want realized, is that my elaborate language--epitomized in the first paragraph--is not used in an attempt to prove my intelligence. It's used in an attempt to originize my writing in a way which makes it more enjoyable to read. Same goes for the humor. (Now, I may not succeed given that much complexity, but that is the purpose. And I will revise in regard to that purpose.)

That said, this essay was written three months ago, and WILL be revised (especially the first paragraph!), and one of the reasons for posting it was to see what needed the most revision. My style has since been simplified.

Also, this essay wasn't meant for FR. I'm just posting it for whom it may concern.
26 posted on 03/03/2003 6:45:01 PM PST by Alec Mouhibian
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