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PMS ALERT!!! Do you know anyone that suffers from PMS?
Do you understand what PMS does to people?
Is there a cure for people who suffer from PMS?
Never Fear! Help Is Here!
Symptons of Those That Suffer From PMS:
1. They naturally feel guilty.
2. Their natural guilt demands that you should pay to make them feel better.
3. It is your fault. Make no mistake about it.
A Deeper Look Into Their Feelings:
1. A belief that there are no such thing as Muslim terrorists.
2. A belief that Israel and America are the two terrorists in the world.
3. A belief that Danny Glover is somehow educated enough to voice an opinion.
4. A belief that Susan Sarandon doesn't sag. (That's what wonderbra's are for)
5. A belief that God is merely useful for their cause.
6. A belief that there are "moderate" Muslims. (Still waiting to see one)
7. A belief that Saddam Hussein is really disarming. (Sure he is!)
8. A belief that America is oppressing the world. (Send back our money)
9. A belief that Yasser Arafat is a "man of peace".
10. A belief that the Holocaust is totally exaggerated.
11. A belief that Mumia is innocent of murdering a white cop.
12. A belief that it's okay to free him anyways.
13. A belief that the CIA is the reason we have problems in the world.
14. A belief that President Bush is worse than Saddam Hussein.
15. A belief that America shouldn't fight wars, but hug a terrorist.
16. A belief that Middle America stands with them.
17. A belief that President Bartlett, played by Martin Sheen, is actually President.
18. A belief that there is no such thing as good versus evil.
19. A belief that all Republicans and conservatives are evil.
20. A belief that Ariel Sharon should be brought up on war crimes.
21. A belief that a tiny country such as Israel is ruining the Middle East.
22. A belief that Israeli's kill Palestinians all the time. (Only terrorists)
23. A belief that Tony Blair is Bush's poodle.
24. A belief that Bill Clinton was the greatest friend Israel ever had.
25. A belief that Israel needs to give up their country and allow their people to die.
26. A belief that Madonna is a good "role model".(Perhaps, a prostitute)
27. A belief that morals, personal convictions, and God get in the way.
28. A belief that prayer is oppressive.
29. A belief that America should pay for abortions for everyone.
30. A belief that Godzilla does exist.
31. A belief that George Clooney isn't self promoting.
32. A belief that everyone looks to Hollywood for all the answers.
33. A belief that Hollywood isn't filled with people paid to pretend to be someone else.
34. A belief that Corporate America is bad, but Hollywood isn't a corporation.
35. A belief that the Tooth Fairy discriminates.
36. A belief that SUV's and Humvees are "weapons of mass destruction".
37. A belief that Anthrax is a band and not a deadly threat.
38. A belief that North Korea doesn't really starve it's people.
39. A belief that North Korea uses nuclear powered reactors for electricity.
40. A belief that George W. Bush is more evil than Satan.
41. A belief that one's skin color is more important than one's abilities.
42. A belief that there are no such things as "last chances".
43. A belief in animal rights.
44. A belief that it's okay to hit cops and horses while protesting.
45. A belief that the CIA shot JR in "Dallas".
46. A belief that Iraqi people love Saddam.
47. A belief that Jesse Jackson truly has "moral authority" to lecture America.
48. A belief that abortion rights is more imporant than American security.
50. A belief that the military gets too much money.
51. A belief that Michael Moore knows a "stupid white man" when he sees it.
52. A belief that Jimmy Carter was a good President.
53. A belief that the rest of America cares what Jimma Carter says.
54. A belief that Bill Clinton's foreign policy "protected" America.
55. A belief that Hillary Clinton is a sex goddess.
56. A belief that Charles Lindbergh never sympathized with the Nazis.
57. A belief that Lyndon B. Johnson's great society is under threat by Bush.
58. A belief that Rush Limbaugh must be stopped.
59. A belief that Ariel Sharon controls President Bush.
60. A belief that the Oslo Peace process was a good thing.
61. A belief that Islam is a religion of peace.
62. A belief that FreeRepublic.com should be shutdown forever.
63. A belief that if you have AIDS, America should pay for it.
64. A belief that America is to blame for someone else's behavior.
65. A belief that rich people should feel bad for being rich.
66. A belief that taxes are a good thing.
67. A belief that government should provide more social programs.
68. A belief that "personal responsibility" is the government's job.
69. A belief that a woman can choose abortion, but not education for her kids.
70. A belief that the boogeyman was actually a Republican.
71. A belief that Abraham Lincoln was the first and only decent Republican.
72. A belief that Palestinians suffer and can be excused for "genocide bombings".
73. A belief that America destroyed the Ozone Layer.
74. A belief that global warming is more important than security.
75. A belief that Ozzy Osborne has a normal family.
76. A belief that America wasn't hated before George W. Bush.
77. A belief that illegal aliens in America should enjoy the same freedoms as citizens.
78. A belief that France and Germany are courageous.
79. A belief that enviromental terrorism is okay.
80. A belief that France is a military power.
81. A belief that Muslims are only bad because Jews exist.
82. A belief that Muslims are more peaceful than Christians in America.
83. A belief that Americans should be ashamed to be American.
84. A belief that patriotism is stupid.
85. A belief that Iraqi's love being tortured, murdered, and beaten.
86. A belief that America is making these stories up.
87. A belief that Afghanistan was just fine with the Taliban.
88. A belief that burning the American flag somehow appeases those who hate us.
89. A belief that communism and socialism are better than democracy.
90. A belief that Spongebob Squarepants is an endangered species and not a cartoon.
91. A belief that President Bush has no conscience.
92. A belief that President Bush's religion is bad.
93. A belief that Osama Bin Laden's religion is good.
94. A belief that September 11th was planned by America.
95. A belief that Bill Clinton helped women.
96. A belief that Monica Lewinsky was lucky to service Bill Clinton.
97. A belief that Chelsea Clinton never got drunk.
98. A belief that the United Nations knows best.
99. A belief that it's okay for the UN to shut out Israel for any committees.
100. A belief that being a Patriotic American makes you downright disgusting.
Well, you now know what to look for. Beware! They are everywhere!
So? When you see a "Peace Marching Sucker", you'll know what to do.
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