Posted on 02/12/2003 3:02:40 AM PST by Pat Bateman
'Instead of passing on violence, we must pass on kindness'
By Annette Espinoza
Denver Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, February 12, 2003 - WHEAT RIDGE - It was a day of tears, forgiveness and sharing painful memories at Wheat Ridge High School on Tuesday as students hugged and made up with peers they once picked on.
The three-day gathering of 450 students from nine high schools is helping bullies and victims reconcile so they can heal pain caused by fear and isolation. Student Michael Peterson took the microphone and asked Ben Honaman, an honor student whom Peterson admitted to harassing, to forgive him.
"I'm going to stop," Peterson said. "I wish I can be like him, 'cause he's cool."
Honaman accepted his apology. The two shook hands.
The two were among 450 students from nine Colorado high schools participating in Challenge Day, a three-day program designed to help students stop violence and alienation.
Today, the last day of the program, students from Manual High School and Graland Country Day School are scheduled to participate.
"This has impacted my life forever," said Alex Chacon, 17, who said he had been disrespectful toward women.
"This has made me realize that what I had been doing was wrong."
The program was started in Denver two years ago by the Public Education and Business Coalition. In the program, students take part in the nationally acclaimed "Facing History and Ourselves" curriculum and study issues of social injustice and civic responsibility.
On this day, students became emotional when Challenge Day co-founder Yvonne Dutra-St. John asked them to "cross the line if you've ever been hit, screamed at, called a nerd, discriminated against, felt alone or afraid."
"This gets kids to see that they're not alone," said Rich Dutra-St. John of the exercise. "They see that others are going through it. They see that it's possible to treat others with love and respect."
Challenge Day was started by the Dutra-St. Johns in California in 1987 because they had been harassed as teenagers.
"My wife was bulimic and tormented in school," Rich Dutra-St. John said.
On Tuesday, students sat in groups and shared their feelings after they confronted those they had wronged in the past. Then they stepped up to a microphone and discussed what happened with their peers, teachers and some parents who attended.
"This will help me to be more real with people and stand up to them when they are treating people badly," said Leset Galvan, an 11th-grader at Wheat Ridge High.
Six student leaders helped organize Tuesday's workshop, which drew more than 50 students.
While Challenge Day was a success, at first it wasn't easy getting students at Wheat Ridge interested. Of the 75 permission slips sent out, only 10 drew responses from students, said student Louise Plattner, who helped organize the event.
Through tears, Plattner thanked the students because they were able to forgive one another and forge new friendships.
"I hope the impact of today carries on tomorrow," Plattner said.
For English teacher Michele De Andrea, the event was a moving experience. "I hope it will permeate through the rest of the student body," she said.
One of those asked to participate was Barbara Gates, the mother of Columbine survivor Joanna Gates, now a junior at Colorado State University.
"This has allowed students to be honest with one another," Barbara Gates said. "Instead of passing on violence, we must pass on kindness."
Or at least until next week...
Heck, it didn't bother the møøse. He enjoys loud noises ...
On the other hand, it did cürdle my cheese!
Then, after a group hug, they all joined hands and sang the Barney song.
I'm gonna hurl. Seriesly.
You take care of bullies by standing up to them. I was 5'4", 85 pounds, in junior high when I was confronted by a bully. I stood my ground ... he knocked me down. While on the ground, I kicked his feet out from under him, jumped on him, and proceeded to beat him bloody.
I was suspended for three days, but neither he nor his friends ever bothered me again.
Teach your children self-defense and then back them up when they have to use it. Bullies are not impressed by "kumbaya" and "Michael, row the boat ashore" sensitivity sessions.
I feel the same, nothing like showing weakness and rolling over in the face of aggression.
I was picked on in school, a lot, every so often I just served them up a good ol' fashioned beat-down and that seemed to "heal the rift".
No one respects the weak and apathetic.
Additionally, lots of girls are viscious. We are not talking about physical here, with either boys or girls, sometimes it is an unrelenting verbal assault--didn't you read about the amputee the other day on Drudge, who had a whole mob of girls endlessly ridiculing her? They even had a web page devoted to character assasination. You guys are either young--twenties--or older--sixties. You may not have a total picture on how viscious things are. I have my own theory: half of America never goes to church where, more then a generation ago simple lessons, like obey the golden rule were emphasized each week. Virtues like charity and fortitude and modesty were emphasized. It's like when Rudy Giuliani cleaned up New York: he started with a morality campaigned and enforced minor laws and the bigger picture improved. Too bad you can't do that in the public schools, where God and the associated ethics have been banned. V's wife.
In the real world some of the most valuable lessons I learned was the ability to deal with bullies, psychotics, manipulitive worms, cheaters, brown noses, goody two shoes and all the other behaviors we encountered in high school. While I do use reading, writing and arithmetic on a daily basis as a small business owner, the single most important skill learned was the ability to recognize these traits in others. There are a multitude of people who display these traits regularly in life.
I say get used to it and learn your lessons well. This is high school utopia garbage to me.
Well, that's one way to deal with it.
In high school, I had a bully pick on me once. Once. : )
I got picked on. Sure it was painful. But guess what? I GOT OVER IT!! And it didn't require any touchy-feely stuff to do it. You just dust off your britches and move on.
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