I mean, who's going to end up being judged the most sick freaking excuse for a human being?
Over here you got Michael Jackson and over there you got any one of the Kennedy clan with that Chivas swilling, pant wetting, womanizing, tub of larded up goo Uncle Ted leading the assault on our decaying society.
I mean, we got to choose soon whether we're just going to tolerate this sick behavior or do something to stop it!
The Kennedys are motivated solely by love: Love for the Little Man (and Woman), Love for the Environment; Love for the Poor and Downtrodden; Love for the baby-bombers of the IRA, to the Dope Purveyors on the streets of Boston; Love, in short, for all of us unworthy self-centered peasants whom an understanding God has fortunately placed below the Kennedys.
Yes, yes, Ted takes in enormous quantities of alcohol, but it is done as part of his quality-control mission in one part of the family's business. As the exclusive importer of Scotch Whiskeys to the US, it's his job to make sure the product is safe for the little people. The fact that he is willing to sacrifice his figure, his mind, and his liver just proves his love for us.
But that is nothing new to Ted. He risked his life to show Americans just how unsafe our leaky motor vehicles were! Young Joe has the same altruistic streak, testing street drugs to assure their efficacy for the ordinary Joes out there. That takes extraordinary courage. And his work on the Hudson River with Pete Seeger and the boys and girls of the Clearwater has just been outstanding. When Joe came along, efforts to clean up the Hudson had been floundering along for 35 years, now look at it. He made the difference. We owe sewage treatment technology and toxic waste management to this great, self-sacrificing young man, who not only loves us, but clean water and fish, too!
It's their gift to us, the little people: a family tradition of self sacrifice. Bobby and Jack working through many nights, away from their loving families,with a depressed Marilyn Monroe, Ted diving repeatedly on Mary Jo, Dr. Smith offering succor to a distraught young woman on Good Friday, Bobby's boys visiting a girl crippled in a tragic accident on the Cape, and of course Mike Skakel, spending years abroad in a variety of disguises, lurking furtively in the shadows on golf courses and ski slopes, haunting rehab hospitals, hoping to catch the fiend who may have actually killed young Martha.
You right-wing bastards! You are only, like Dominic Dunne, thinking of yourselves. The Kennedys fight for all of us. Never mind the casualties. Think of them!